Holiday: An Instant Star Christmas Story
by starryeyed68
Summary: Jude and Tommy are finally together, celebrating their first Christmas. A shocking surprise intrudes upon their holiday. What is it and how will it affect their lives? Read and find out!
1. The Road Home

Holiday- An Instant Star Christmas Story

Chapter 1- The Road Home

Author's Notes: Hi, everyone! I'm back from vacation, and brought this little story back as my souvenir for everyone (I wrote it then). Yes, the seasonal madness has seized me. Seriously, those of you following IS- Next Generation have noted and commented on the "time jumps" in the story. For what its worth, they intrigue me, too. I wonder about the things that story leaves out. What was Tommy and Jude's first "real date" like? Not to mention their "first time"? I may well write about those and other "firsts" later. For now, I decided to start with their "first Christmas". And since there have also been requests for follow up to "Montreal, 1999", I figured that would fit in here nicely too. So, this story kind of ties in to both of those others...

Anyway... it starts out after Tommy and Jude get together (finally!). Soon after they start dating, she leaves on tour with Spiederman and he goes with her (don't we wish the season ended like this!)... It goes from there... So, anyway, read and please review... I am toying with a new idea... now that we have the review "response" feature, I'm thinking everyone who reviews will get a spoiler for the next chapter (unless you don't want one...). Seriously, let me know... I'll enjoy sending them... but you gotta ask!

Oh- since this is a new story, the usual disclaimer... I don't own IS, blah, blah, blah...

Now, without further ado...

Chapter 1- The Road Home

The tour bus was always a cold place to be on Sunday mornings in December. No matter how much she traveled in winter, eighteen year old Jude Harrison never completely got used to it. Although for this trip, things had improved. She discovered new, foolproof ways of keeping warm.

Jude snuggled tighter against her boyfriend's still-slumbering body. Her movements didn't rouse him. But, as if he sensed her need, Tommy's hands slipped further up under the sweatshirt that she wore, touching and warming her bare skin. He pulled her closer, the contact causing waves of heat to instantly engulf her. She sighed, contentedly.

"Better?" his voice softly whispered to her.

Jude glanced up into a pair of sleepily hazy blue eyes.

"I didn't mean to wake you" she said.

"I don't mind." he replied, looking at her sweetly flushed face and tousled red hair. No woman had ever looked so good to him.

"You're gorgeous. I like to look at you." he said, completely honestly.

"Mmmm." she mumbled, overwhelmed by his obvious admiration and love. Her hand caressed his bare chest, tracing the clearly defined lines of his pectorals and abdomen.

" I know. I have definitely gotten used to waking up to you like this" she answered.

"Although how you sleep that way is beyond me. Don't you get cold?" she teased him. It was an old joke.

"You complaining now? I thought you liked it?" he responded, pulling her whole body even closer to him.

"No, not complaining. And I do like it." she sighed happily.

"I always sleep like this. Even if it's cold. I'm used to it- just hot blooded, I guess. Besides, someone keeps stealing my sweatshirts."

"You complaining, Quincy?"

"No way. They look much sexier on you." He loved the way the oversized, baggy, fabric that actually concealed everything somehow also managed to highlight the delicate curves underneath. Probably because he knew they were there.

Jude's voice penetrated his thoughts.

"I don't know about that." she said, eyes sparkling. "You looked pretty good to me when you wore them."

"So, why'd you take them?" he said, already knowing her response.

"I get cold. Yours are bigger than mine and warmer. Why? Do you want them back?"

"No. You can have any of them you want. Whenever you want. But it doesn't leave me with much." he answered.

" I thought you didn't need much." she playfully responded.

"I don't. Just you." he said, as his hand found and traced down the side of her chin, tipping her face towards his, and meeting her lips with his own. A familiar heat released in their stomachs and spread throughout both their bodies.

"Now, this. This is exactly what I want. That is what keeps me going." he whispered.

"Me, too." Jude replied, still breathless. She yawned softly.

"Is that what I do to you? Put you to sleep." he kidded her, his hand now lightly stroking her long hair.

"No. You know it isn't. I think I showed you that last night." she lovingly responded.

"That was a great concert. You were wonderful" he said, teasingly.

"I wasn't talking about the performance" she insinuated.

"Neither was I. At least not that one." he grinned wickedly, remembering. "But both were amazing. You really are wonderful."

" So are you" Jude eagerly responded.

Both smiled, lost in a happiness greater than either had ever known before, especially Tommy. He and Jude had been together now for only four months and traveling for three of them. But the trip had brought them even closer together, enfolding them into the fabric of each other's lives. She was so delicious, so open about her feelings, her wants, her needs, that it stirred the same response in him. How easy it was to love and trust her now, so completely. How quickly she had become his everything. He looked at her, as she yawned again.

"I'm just tired. You know that. All the shows, the late nights. I think I'm worn down."

"Yeah, me too." Tommy admitted. "Producing these road tours is hard work. Plus, Georgia and Quest keep emailing me other stuff to look at from home."

"Well, that was the deal, if you wanted to come. Are you sorry?" she asked him, already knowing the answer.

"No. No way. Not if the other choice was being away from you for three months. I'd never make it. Besides, someone's gotta protect you from those Spiederman guys."

"Oh, they aren't so bad." Jude smiled fondly. She genuinely liked them, having worked with them for three years now.

"They're crazy. Were they always like this?"

"Well, yeah. And someone just produced their first solo album." Jude grinned impishly at that person, the man lying right there in her arms. "They're just happy. They aren't just my backup band this time, but my opening act. You know how hard they worked for that."

"Yeah, I know they are excited. But what was up with them in Niagra Falls?"

"Just having a little fun. Work hard, play hard. You always say that." she reminded Tommy.

"Jude, they scaled a wire fence, and jumped into a swimming pool. With all their clothes on."

"I remember. It's tradition. They always do that on tour. Harmless, really"

"I guess. Anyway, they'll be home soon. Where their parents can deal with them."

"Yes, grandpa." Jude said, joking easily about the six year age gap between Tommy and the band. The same difference that once kept them apart. How amazing it was now that this was finally no longer an obstacle.

"Funny." Tommy replied.

"I guess they've been bad this year." Jude went on. "I suppose they'll pay for that in a few weeks at Christmas" she laughed. "Seriously, I'm just glad we get to go home for the holidays."

"Yeah. But remember, it's back to the road after New Years. EJ and Georgia always plan tours like that." he told her.

"I know. Anyway, so what do you want for Christmas?" she asked him, love shimmering in and deepening her clear blue eyes.

"I want you to look at me that way forever." he thought silently, but said.

"I don't know. It feels like you've already given me everything I ever hoped for."

Jude bent over and kissed him, loving this poetic, romantic side of him; a secret to everyone but her.

"What do you usually do for the holiday?" she asked.

"Usually?" he repeated.

"Before me. Before us."

"I usually traveled." he informed her.

"Where?"

"Different places. Sometimes, I went skiing. Sometimes, I'd go someplace warm, to a beach. I didn't really have any place I needed to be. You know I don't really have any family.

Jude nodded. Tommy had confided all that to her soon after they started dating. Four nights afterwards, to be exact. She remembered the evening well. Her third CD finally wrapped, and Tommy took her back to his place to celebrate. He cooked her dinner and was in the kitchen cleaning up when she began looking through his photo album. Tommy then found her doing this; it surprised him, but he hadn't stopped her. Instead, he took her in his arms and told her everything; things he never discussed with anyone before. He spoke of the car accident and how his mother was killed by his drunk father who drove the automobile, and his subsequent estrangement from his father, who he now hadn't seen or spoken to in eight years. He had no other family and had been on his own ever since then. Tommy spoke of his pain and his anger, sharing his horrible past with the woman who loved him. Jude just listened as he released everything he kept locked up inside for so long.

That night had also been the first time they made love; Jude's first time ever. Secretly, she had never wanted to be with anyone else, and now he couldn't imagine that, either. Remembering that, they both smiled again, as she said.

"Well, things are different now. You're spending Christmas with me. With my family."

"Jude, I don't know..." he began.

"What's to know? We're together, aren't we?

"Yes. Of course." Tommy answered, without a moment's hesitation.

"Well, then?" she questioned.

"You sure they won't mind? I mean, from what you told me, they weren't too thrilled about our dating? And me going on this tour with you? Your parents don't like it"

" It's not that bad. They do like you. They always have. They are just, well, parents. Protective. They just need to get used to this. To us." she confidently replied.

"Is that what you want?" he asked, loving her idea.

"Yes. Of course. Why? You want us to spend the holidays apart?" The thought horrified her.

"No" Tommy quickly responded, punctuating his response with a deep, intense kiss. "How could I want that? Ok. I'm there. On one condition."

"What?" she asked, curious.

"You come with me to G-Major's New Year's Eve party."

"Like you even have to ask." she said, eyes sparkling as a thought flashed through her mind.

"What?" he questioned, intrigued by her expression.

"We've never been to a formal party together." she said, thoughtfully,

"I know. All your birthdays, other parties. You were always with someone else. All your other boyfriends." he mused.

"Me? What about you? What about that supermodel you brought to last year's party? Tiffany somebody?"

"I barely remember" he said

"Oh, really." she teased back.

"I only remember you. I could not stop looking at you. You were so beautiful. I wanted you then. Always." he confessed.

"I wanted that, too." she admitted. "But now, we can. Finally."

"I love you, Jude Harrison"

"I love you, Tommy Quincy."

Their lips met repeatedly, in a series of kisses, each one deeper and longer than the previous one. Tommy's hands began to move gently under Jude's shirt, then abruptly stopped.

"How out of it do you think the Spiederman boys are?"

"Those guys? They were out all night! Comatose." Jude assured him, knowing what Tommy was getting at.

"Good. The walls of this bus are just too damm thin. No privacy." he mumbled, his fingers already resuming their paths on her creamy skin. She moaned.

"Another reason to be glad we're going home soon" she whispered.

"Yeah" he said, crawling on top of her, and removing her shirt. Hands and lips roamed, touching and tasting, feasting greedily.

"Still cold?" he said, smugly.

"No" she sighed, lost in pure pleasure.

"Good" he replied, reaching for the drawstring on her pants and removing the rest of the clothes from her body. With now practiced gestures, Jude did the same to him. Breathing deepened and heartbeats accelerated as passion flooded their bodies, their desire finally consuming them completely.


	2. Shock Therapy

Holiday- An Instant Star Christmas Story

Chapter 2: Shock Therapy

A few weeks later, that same tour bus slowed, and then finally came to a stop in front of Jude's house.

"She's home!" Victoria Harrison screamed loudly, as she ran out the door to greet her returning daughter. Kat, Jamie and even Sadie followed eagerly at her heels.

Jude's eyes lit up at the sight of her loved ones.

"My stop!" she grinned happily at Tommy.

"Yeah. They really missed you."

"I missed them!" she replied.

"Yeah, I know." he said, giving her a quick kiss.

"Go on." he urged, knowing she wanted to.

"Sure you won't come in for a while?"

"I can't. You know that. I gotta get the bus back to G-Major. Check in with Georgia. But I'll call you later." Tommy promised.

"Ok." Jude replied, squeezing his hand before grabbing her bags and leaving.

A few more miles deposited all the Spiederman band members at their respective homes, then the bus turned in at the record company office. Inside, Tommy conferred with Georgia and EJ, who were delighted to hear about the success of the tour, and of the huge positive response Jude and Spiederman received. His report completed, Tommy walked back outside, jumped into his Viper and drove to his own home.

He quickly stepped up the path to the luxurious building and took the private elevator to his penthouse apartment. Inside, everything looked the same. The housekeeping service had done their job while he was away, leaving the place immaculate. Not a speck of dust marred the pristine surfaces, everything sparkled. He could even detect a faint scent of cleaning products in the air. It was cold inside, as chilly as the tour bus had been. This time the coolness bothered him; somehow highlighting the emptiness of his life. Tommy recalled how Jude's family and closest friends joyfully celebrated her homecoming; he had no one to acknowledge his so merrily. True, Georgia, Quest and EJ greeted him warmly at G-Major, but it didn't compare at all to the love that instantly surrounded his girlfriend from the instant she arrived home. But then again, she deserved that. He still wasn't sure what he himself merited.

A red light, winking on and off in the darkness of the room, caught his attention, as did a faint beeping sound. Tommy recognized the small glow from his answering machine; it surprised him. Everyone he dealt with knew he had gone away and contacted him on his cell phone. Who would leave a message for him here? He hit the play button.

"Tommy... " an awkward voice began. A voice that he never expected to hear again. He sat, completely stymied as it continued.

"It's your father... I was just wondering... how you are... I'd really like to talk sometime... give me a call if you want..."


	3. Voices Carry

Holiday- An Instant Star Christmas Story

Chapter 3- Voices Carry

Author's Notes: Just a quick one here, to thank everyone for their warm response to the start of this story. I really needed the support this time; Chapter 3 was a toughie! Besides all the encouragement, it took a self-styled, serious music marathon to make it happen! Plus, it seems to be impossible for me to write these chapters one by one, they appear to come out in pairs... So, good news for you- Chapter 4 should also be out soon. Maybe the duet thing is appropriate... Tommy and Jude are really together here!

Ok... enough of my very random babbling... Anyway, as always, read, enjoy and please review. Remember the "spoiler" promise!

Chapter 3- Voices Carry

Tommy's jaw slackened, as his fingers involuntarily gripped the table in front on him. He stared into the darkness, hypnotized by the answering machine's small red glow. Suddenly exhausted, he crashed down into a chair. His legs could no longer support him; rage filled his blood, weakening his rational mind as well as his muscles. Nothing changed; he felt that same violence the last time he heard that voice.

"_I'm your father. You owe me something, Tom"_

"_I owe you nothing! You killed her! After treating her like crap all these years. And it wasn't just the drinking. You think she didn't know about your other women!"_

"_I've made mistakes..." _James Quincy began weakly.

"_She's dead! Is that what you call a mistake? Just stay the hell outta my life! I never want to see you or speak to you again."_

"_Fine, kid. If you want it that way. Try it like that! But you'll come crawling back some day!"_

He just turned away from his father, picked up his large duffel bag and walked out. Never looking back. Repressing all thoughts of him until today; the memories rendered him crazy. He feared them, feared for his own sanity.

Heaviness plagued his body and he dragged himself up. A few steps took him towards the wall unit. Opening a cabinet, he reached for the crystal decanter.

"Just a small one." he promised himself. "I am not my father!"

Truthfully, he never really drank excessively, so frightened was he of losing control. Ironically, over the past four months, he had hardly consumed any alcohol at all. That was because of Jude. Legally, she couldn't, not yet. More importantly, with her in his life, he didn't want to. He didn't need to. She intoxicated him enough. Jude was his addiction and his drug; she brought him higher than he had ever been before. He needed nothing else. Nor would he allow anything or anyone to interfere with that.

"Jude" he thought wistfully, never wanting or needing her more than at that instant. He reached automatically for his phone.

"No" he said, with difficulty willing his hand away.

"She just got home. She's so happy! You can't go dragging her into this. It's not fair. She shouldn't have to see you like this, almost mental. She won't; you can't let her. Just drink. And go to sleep. Forget. Tomorrow, it will be like this never happened."

Tommy hastily swallowed the contents of the glass and made his way to his bedroom. He rooted around his bag, seeking his gray sweats, and found only the pants. Jude still possessed the top. That thought made him smile, relieving the agony just for an instant. He quickly changed and slipped beneath his covers; the bed somehow seeming too big and empty without her.

His lonliness left room for more memories; schizophrenia reigned supreme as other voices played in his head, haunting him.

"_Useless, Sarah! I tell you, he's useless!" _James Quincy proclaimed with inebriated passion.

"_James, he can hear you! Just stop it!" _his mother begged, tears running down her face.

"_Look at these grades! Stupid kid! He'll never get anywhere like that! Never amount to anything! Maybe if you stopped dragging him to these wussy auditions, he'd bother to study!"_

"_It's what he wants..."_

"_Shut up! He's a dumb kid! He doesn't know what he wants! He's too young and stupid to make that choice. So are you! So, I'm gonna do it..."_

_Then there was the sound of breaking glass. His mother screamed pitifully as his father's fists reached her..._

When he was very young, Tommy always ran away during these arguments; Sarah Quincy instructed him to do so. One day, he stopped hiding, choosing instead to finally confront his drunken father.

"_I do know what I want! I always have!"_

"_Music? That's what you want? You're weak! Pansy boy!"_

"_He's really talented. A prodigy. His teacher said..."_

"_How many times do I have to tell you to shut up, woman!" _James Quincy slapped his wife's face.

"_Always taking the kid's side! Screw that! When was the last time you did anything for me?"_

Tommy's half-naked form shivered, tossing and turning in the half-empty bed, as the voices droned on, threatening to shatter his overburdened mind. His thoughts segued uncontrollably, inevitably leading to the argument after Darius recruited him for Boyz Attack.

"_Boyz Attack! That's what you want? To go shake your butt in a sissy-boy band!"_

"_It's a great opportunity for me..." _Tommy started, then stopped. Why even bother to try to explain?

_His father punched his jaw. He fell backwards; his father laughed._

"_See if they want you now, with your pretty face all messed up... Just try to sing now!"_

His mother helped him up and quickly iced his face. His strong chin would be swollen and bruised, but not broken.

"_Just go on, Tommy. Just leave. Tonight." _his mother urged.

"_I'm so proud of you. Go live your dream!"_

A cold sweat beaded his chest; he restlessly kicked off the covers, the exposure of his bare flesh echoing the current vulnerability of his mind.

"_There's been an accident, Tom. Your mother was killed. Your father was driving. He was drunk."_

The voices continued their merciless taunting, completely exhausting his mind and soul. He could not close his eyes, would not sleep. Tommy was afraid to. Who knew what madness would seize him then? Daylight streamed through the window, as he finally, mercifully blacked out. The nightmares chased him even in unconsciousness.

Finally, somehow, his mind seized upon a different vision. He tasted her lips, felt her perfect body press tightly against his, her arms surrounding him, offering the purest form of comfort.

"Jude" he murmured lovingly.

"Tommy" she whispered back with equal emotion.

His hands found the copper silk of her hair, the irresistible softness of her skin. Tommy screwed his eyes shut, desperately needing this delusion, not wanting the fantasy to ever end.

"Open your eyes now" she commanded.

Somehow, he felt he possessed no choice, and obeyed. He smiled weakly.

"I thought you were a dream."


	4. Trouble Me

Holiday- An Instant Star Christmas Story

Chapter 4- Trouble Me

Author's Note: Okay... I just looked at the calendar. Less than two weeks to go until Christmas. I just hope this story gets there "on time"! Seriously, next year I start my "fanfic" shopping in July...

Chapter 4- Trouble Me

"I thought you were a dream." he repeated in disbelief.

"Oh? Do you dream about me, Quincy?" Jude teased him.

"Yeah" he replied. "More than you know" he thought.

"Seriously. You look awful." she replied, noting the deathly gray pallor of his skin and darkly shadowed eyes. "Didn't you sleep?"

"No. Not really. I guess I don't sleep well without you."

"Sweet"

"How did you get in here, anyway?"

"You gave me the keys before we left. Don't you remember?"

"Of course" How much he had wanted her to have them.

"I mean, why did you come?"

"I don't know. I guess I was worried. You never called me last night. You didn't answer your phone when I called you."

"I didn't hear it." he replied honestly.

"That's it. You never do that."

"I guess I was tired."

"Yeah. But you never sleep that soundly." she answered him, recalling how, on tour, the slightest noise woke him.

"You're right." he confessed.

"Something's wrong, isn't it? Really wrong?" she guessed, perceptively.

"Yes"

"Tell me" she said, gently.

"No" he responded.

"No?"

"I'll show you."

Tommy rose from the bed and tugged at Jude's wrist until she stood next to him. Then he took her hand and led her to the living room, where he played the tape.

"What the..." Jude gasped.

"That was my reaction too. Only stronger. With a few four letter words thrown in!" Tommy blurted out, before abruptly lapsing into silence.

Jude looked at his anguished face.

"Tell me what you're thinking" she urged, with her voice and her compassionate eyes.

"Let's just sit down."

Tommy situated himself on the leather couch as Jude curled up besides him. Automatically, his arm slipped around her shoulders and she looked right at him, as he began to speak.

"Jude, I really don't know what to think. You know who he is. What he did. Everything. After the accident, I never wanted to hear from him again. I froze him out. It was the only way I could deal. He killed her! He hurt me! Again and again!"

She just nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"Finally, I walked away. He swore I'd come back. "Crawl back!". I didn't. Never would. But now, suddenly, he's the one "crawling". Why? It's messed up!"

"So, you still don't want to talk to him?"

"No. Not really. What good would it do? He can't change anything! I swore I'd never let him hurt me again!"

"But it's not that simple. Is it?" she asked gently.

A soft smile appeared on Tommy's tense face.

"What?" Jude questioned.

"You. You really are amazing. You always know. You understand me better than I understand myself."

"I guess I do." Jude returned his smile. "So? Go on."

"Much as I don't want to deal with him at all, part of me has this repulsive curiosity. A need to find out. What does he want to talk about? Now?" Tommy wondered.

"I don't know. But what about you? Do you have anything you need to say to him?" she replied delicately.

"I don't know!" Tommy cried out, in obvious agony.

"Do you want to hear what I'm thinking now?' she asked quietly.

"Yes"

"I know he hurt you. Terribly. More than I can ever imagine. I know you don't feel like you can forgive or even look at him again. And I'm not gonna tell you you should." Jude began.

Tommy nodded, completely agreeing.

"But I do know that you've been carrying a lot of pain around because of him. You need to find a way to let some of it go. It's messing you up inside."

She paused, allowing her words to slowly sink in.

" I know you, Tommy Quincy. You don't like to admit when stuff bothers you. You just ignore it. Try not to feel it. But you do feel it; it still bothers you. He's still hurting you. And ignoring it won't make it stop." she elaborated, taking a deep breath.

"Look at you right now. It's clearly not working this time. And you have to find something that does. A way to make things better for you. You are what matters here." she wisely concluded.

She focused her eyes on him, trying to gauge his reaction. Jude knew her words were risky; perhaps she had gone too far. How would he react? Would he hate her?

He remained silent for several long minutes, absorbing all she said. He then met her worried gaze and quickly spoke, wanting to assuage her fear.

"I love you." he assured her.

"For never hesitating to tell me the real truth. For saying exactly what you think, exactly what you know I need to hear. Even if I don't like it. You do know me better than anyone. You make me face things, confront stuff. And you may be right. I may need to speak to him, someday. For my own sake. I just don't know yet if now is that time. I'm afraid..."

She waited patiently, knowing he needed time.

"I'm afraid I'm going to turn out like him..."

"Tommy, no."

"Who's to say I won't? I get angry, too... When I heard his voice before... I felt crazy...Violent. Just like him."

"No. That's completely different. He provokes you. Understandably."

"I know that, logically. But I can't help myself..."

"He causes you to be irrational. But that's all it is.."

"Maybe...But I'm terrified of how he makes me feel. That's a big reason why I don't think I can see him." Tommy confessed.

"Except maybe that's exactly why you need to."

"To face my fear? To prove to myself I'm different?"

"Yeah... And I already know that you are . You could never hurt anyone like he did." she stated with complete certainty.

"I just don't know what to do. I gotta think about a lot of stuff, Jude."

"I know that. And I'm here if you need me. I want to help, if I can."

"You can. You do. Just having you in my life..." his words trailed off as his lips lightly brushed her own.

"I think I'd better try to get some sleep right now." he said.

"Me too. I got up too early today!"

"You up early? You must really love me, then."

"I really do."

"Good. Then you'll stay here with me? I just need to be close to you right now."

"How can I resist that?" Jude smiled.

"You can't" he replied arrogantly, sounding and feeling a little more like himself.

She changed quickly into another one of his shirts and curled up in his arms. Thus comforted, sleep finally came easily to them both.


	5. Crash Into The Sun

Holiday- An Instant Star Christmas Story

Chapter 5: Crash Into The Sun

Author's Note: Wow! The response to Chapter 4 has just been overwhelming! I think I'm getting my holiday presents now! So, I've decided to accelerate this a bit- no spoilers, just a quick release on Chapter 5! See what you guys can make me do... you and the consumption of delicious cookie dough! Anyway, I hope everyone is enjoying the beginning of the holiday season as much as you all say you like this! Please keep the comments coming...

Chapter 5: Crash Into The Sun

The shrill sound of the ringing phone shattered the dreams of the loving couple, sleeping peacefully in each other's arms. Synchronicity reigned supreme as both sets of blue orbs opened, simultaneously registering their shock.

Tommy's pupils darkened, as his face turned ashen.

"If that's him again..." he trailed off, clearly shaken.

Jude looked at him and took both his hands in hers.

"No" she assured Tommy, realizing something.

"It's my cell phone."

Her beautifully toned body flipped over as she reached for it.

"Hello? Oh, hi Kat..."

Tommy's muscles relaxed and he leaned back in bed. He listened, as Jude reviewed her afternoon plans with her closest girlfriend.

"Yes. Of course, we're still going. 1:00? Great! I'll meet you there!"

She slid downwards, onto the soft silk sheets where Tommy's strong arms gently caught her, drawing her close. She sighed contentedly, as always, relishing his nearness.

"You two have plans today?" he asked her.

"Yup! Headed towards the Northside Mall. I've hardly touched my Christmas shopping. Been so busy with the tour and all. Plus, now I need something amazing to wear on New Year's."

"Got some special plans or something?" he teased her.

"The best." she smiled, as she leaned over and kissed him intensely, her hands stroking his bare back.

Eagerly, he reciprocated her caresses, hungrily running his hands over her delicate skin, snaking them upwards from her stomach. After only a few minutes, he groaned and reluctantly pulled away. Jude sighed.

"I know. It's 11:30 already. I'd better get myself together. We can't do this now."

"Later" he asked, grinning impishly.

"Oh, yeah" she promised.

"So, what are you doing today?" Jude said. "You finish all your shopping already?"

"No. Not even close." he replied, grateful for her reminder.

"I need to get some presents for your family."

"You don't have to..." she began.

"I want to." he replied firmly.

"I want to make a good impression. I need them to like me. Really like me. Then, they'll trust me with you. I want them to be okay with this, with us. Cause I"m not planning on giving you up." he thought silently.

Jude sensed his urgency and asked.

"So, am I allowed to ask what you're buying?"

"For them, yes. For you, no. You need to wait for that." But Tommy was very pleased with the present he already selected for Jude. He wanted something very special and unique, just like her. After giving the matter considerable thought, he realized the perfect gift, and specially ordered it two months ago. It was now ready, needing only for him to go and pick it up.

"Fine!" she retorted, playfully sticking her tongue out at him.

"Then I'm not saying what I got you, either."

"Okay. Fair enough. Seriously, for your family, so far I only got that rare Beatles album for your father. I found it on Ebay while we were away and had it sent here. Honestly, I have no idea what to get your mom or Sadie."

"I'm surprised, Quincy. Here I thought you were an expert in what women want!"

"Only certain women." Tommy responded, smiling lovingly at Jude. "My skills are very customized."

"Don't I know it!" Jude returned his smile, and continued.

"So, you want me to help you pick stuff out?"

"Well, yeah. That ok?"

"Of course. Then get dressed. You're coming with us."

"Fine. But I'm driving." Tommy insisted.

Jude raised an eyebrow at him.

"In the true spirit of the holidays, I'm doing the public an important service and keeping you off the road."

"Besides, then I have to come back here afterwards to get my car..." she said, immediately comprehending his intentions.

"Yeah" he replied, grinning.

"Sneaky, Quincy"

"Well, if you don't like it..."

"I never said that"

They kissed quickly.

"We'd better hurry. We don't have much time." Jude urged, and Tommy agreed.

They dressed and left the apartment, destined for Tommy's Viper. He unlocked the familiar blue door for her, and she smiled.

"I did miss this car." she admitted.

"Well, you are it's favorite passenger."

Thirty minutes of highway travel took them to the mall. With difficulty, Tommy located an available parking spot in the vast, but crowded outdoor lot.

"Where are we meeting Kat?" he asked.

"Food court. By the coffee stand. I need some. And I knew you wouldn't have any food at your apartment."

"We've been away. I meant to stock up, but..." he apologized.

"I know." she reassured him. "But I'm starving. Aren't you?"

Tommy then realized he really was. Not only had he not yet eaten that day, but he had been too traumatized to eat dinner the night before.

They reached the proper kiosk and ordered lattes, muffins and bagels. Ravenous, Tommy devoured his food, finishing just in time to see Kat approaching them. Surprisingly, she was not alone.

"Kat! Jamie... I didn't know you were coming!" Jude greeted them happily.

"My car's battery died. I needed a lift. Besides, as always Andrews here hasn't even started his shopping." Kat informed them.

"Procrastinate much? You never change, Jamie." Jude fondly teased her old friend and neighbor.

"Hey, shopping is a girl thing. It's not me." Jamie answered.

"I'm gonna have to agree with that." Tommy echoed.

"I didn't know you were coming, either." Kat said to him, in a warm welcome.

"Well, I've some things to get, too." he admitted.

"Oh. Well, Jude and I have a special mission to accomplish. Can we trust you guys to get to it?" Kat questioned them.

Tommy looked at Jude, a confused expression on his face.

"Just start looking. I'll catch up with you later, and help you decide." she promised.

"Ok" he agreed.

She walked off with Kat, both of them giggling conspiratorially. Tommy and Jamie were then left staring uncomfortably at each other.

"This is Jamie. Jude's oldest friend. The guy had a major crush on her for years, not that I blame him for that. Maybe deep down, he still does. Like this isn't awkward. What are we supposed to say now?" Tommy mused.

Jamie's thoughts ran along a similar line. He had never been Tommy Quincy's biggest fan. Not only was he always jealous of Jude's irresistible attraction to him, but he had heard too much about how he hurt her at various times before. Jude might have been past all that, but he wasn't. Still, for her sake, he endeavored to break the ice.

"So? What do you need to get?" he asked him.

Tommy sighed.

"I need presents for Jude's mother and sister. I'm spending the holidays with them." he answered.

Jamie's eyes widened in suprise.

"With them? Not with your own family?" he asked.

"I don't really have one." Tommy responded flatly.

Quickly, Jamie changed the topic; he knew a hint when he heard one.

"Ok. So, what did you have in mind for them?"

"Not a clue." Tommy said honestly, shaking his head.

"Well, then, you're in luck. Allow me to be of service. I've lived next door to Victoria and Sadie Harrison since birth. Practically grew up in their house. Consider me your expert in the Harrison family. I can help you pick out stuff they'll love. If you want." he added, sincerely.

Tommy nodded, really grateful for Jamie's offer.

"Thanks"

"No prob. Hey, I've a mother and a sister to shop for myself! So, let's go." he replied, and they walked off.

Ninety minutes later, Tommy and Jamie retraced their steps, returning to the food court. Both lugged heavy shopping bags.

"See. I told you. Got everything?" Jamie grinned smugly.

"Yeah. Thanks." Tommy replied, very pleased with his purchases.

"No problem. Hey, you mind stopping here for a second? I need one more thing."

"Sure"

They entered the absolutely mobbed toy store.

"Man, it's a zoo in here!" Tommy commented.

"Yeah. I know. Sorry, I just need to get something for my cousin. And here it is!" Jamie cried triumphantly, seizing the desired object.

"Evan's been dying for one of these." he said.

"Yeah. I had one, too. I loved it." Tommy grinned, admiring the small, remote-controlled toy airplane. He recalled his sixth Christmas, the year he received it.

"_Airplane, Daddy!" _young Tommy Quincy hollered in glee.

"_Make it fly! Make it fly!"_

"_Come here. See?" _James Quincy demonstrated the plane's controls for his son.

"_He's so young. Maybe it's too hard for him?"_ Sarah Quincy voiced her concern.

"_Of course he can do it! He's my boy! He's smart! Now, just pull this in the direction you want it to go. Be careful! Don't hit anything! And don't let the plane crash now!"_

_Basking in the glow of his father's loving confidence, Tommy took control of the plane._

"_Whee!" _he cried, easily manipulating the plane around the room.

His father smiled proudly.

"_Great! I knew you could do it! That's my boy!"_

How dramatically things had changed for them. When had his father lost control? Why had it all come crashing down?

"Hey! Earth to Tommy!" Jamie snapped his fingers.

"Oh! Sorry."

"You were like a million miles away."

"Yeah. I was just thinking. Remembering when I got that plane."

"It is a cool toy. My father gave me one when I was a kid." Jamie replied.

"Me too. The Christmas I was six." Tommy said, emotion filling his eyes.

Jamie nodded, as he sensitively regarded Tommy. He knew something was up.

"You don't see him anymore, do you?" he asked carefully.

"No. We're not close. It's complicated."

Jamie knew when not to push and wisely let the topic go.

"Come on. Let me pay for this and we're outta here. Besides, it's almost time for my 3:00 latte."

An hour later, Jude and Kat entered the food court, arms laden with shopping bags. Eagerly, they sought and located the table where their boyfriends sat, oversized cups in front of them. Both men gestured frantically, clearly engaged in spirited conversation. Curious, Jude's ears picked up as she and Kat approached them.

"So, that's why the NY dolls can be considered both punk and glam." Jamie insisted.

"I'm telling you, no way. You are so wrong!" Tommy responded.

"Give it up, Quincy. You may know something about modern pop music. But your knowledge of the underground punk scene pales in comparison to mine! I am the master of that universe!" Jamie gloated.

"Yeah! Right! You wish!"

"Care for a contest?"

"Yeah. Any time! Anywhere!" Tommy rose to the challenge.

"Ahem! Remember us?" Jude asked.

"Vaguely" Tommy responded, leaning over for a quick kiss as she sat down besides him. Jamie greeted Kat with equal affection.

"I see you've been busy." Jude noted the packages on the floor next to her boyfriend.

"Yeah. Jamie here may not know much about music. But he's a great shopping helper." Tommy said, giving credit where it was clearly due.

"I know. He's a real girl that way!" Jude responded, knowing it would get a rise out of Jamie.

"Hey! Watch it, Harrison!" Jamie protested.

"Just kidding!" she assured him.

"Anyway, you're one to talk. Just look at all this." Tommy said, surveying Jude's many parcels.

"Leave anything for anyone else?"

"Not much"

"And I suppose you expect me to help you carry all that stuff."

"Of course!" Jude grinned.

"Whatever!" Tommy shrugged his shoulders agreeably.

"I'll help. Especially with that one." he said, gesturing to the long plastic garment bag Jude pressed protectively close to her body.

"It's okay. This one, I can handle." Jude smiled.

"You just don't want me to see it." he replied knowingly, realizing it was her dress for the New Year's party.

"That's right. As you said, you gotta wait for it!" she threw back at him.

"Whatever!" Tommy repeated cheerfully.

"Come on. Let's go." Kat said.

The foursome gathered up their vast array of shopping, and left the mall.


	6. Mirror Images

Holiday- An Instant Star Christmas Story

Chapter 6- Mirror Images

The next few days passed quickly, taking them to December 23, the day Jude was scheduled to perform her annual holiday concert at Children's Hospital. The tradition now dated back three years, since she first won the Instant Star competition. Tommy passed much of this time in personal turmoil, trying desperately to resolve his quandary. Did he want to see his father?

"Should I stay or should I go?" he pondered, quoting the old song lyric.

Resolution appeared impossible. Too many reasons propelled him in each direction.

Desperately grateful for the distraction, Tommy drove his car to the very familiar location of Jude's house. She easily recognized the bright blue Viper from the window, and eagerly came outside as it parked. As befitted the frigid day, she wore her heavy brown leather jacket, and her warm breath caused little smoky puffs in the cold air.

"Hey" she said, greeting her boyfriend with her customary warm smile and even steamier embrace.

He returned both affectionately, but Jude easily noted his preoccupation.

"How are you doing?" she asked. She hadn't seen him much since their day at the mall. They talked, but Tommy had not said anything extensive about his father. Jude knew he thought about it; she wouldn't push him. She knew he would confide in her when he felt ready. Still, the way he looked today concerned her and she needed to ask.

Tommy picked up not just on the inquiry, but on the love surrounding it. A small, quick smile broke through on his harried face.

"I'm ok." he answered. "Thinking a lot..."

"Are you sleeping?" she asked. It didn't look like it.

"Without you?" he replied wryly, then answered.

"Not so much. But some. It's not so bad." he smiled bravely, exhaustion etched on his demeanor.

"So, what have you been thinking about?" she gently prodded.

"My father. It's all so hard. I remember all the reasons I hate him. But ever since the day at the mall, I remember other stuff too. He wasn't always like this. He was good to us once. He loved me. At least I thought so..."

"I'm sure he did." Jude nodded. Tommy had shared his better family memories with her after their shopping trip.

"Why did he change? We were so happy! Why did he have to wreck everything?"

Jude nodded again, on some level, completely identifying with this. She had felt similar emotions after discovering her father's affair. She disclosed this to him.

"I get that. I felt that way, too. After finding out about Dad and Yvette. It drove me crazy. One day, I just had to ask him. Why?"

"What did he say?" Tommy questioned, with genuine interest.

"That things changed. That he couldn't help changing, too. That it wasn't my fault. And that he loved me. He was sorry he hurt me."

Tommy considered this.

"Yep. That fits!" he replied, smirking just a little.

"I'm not saying it's that easy. You know it wasn't for me. And I know it's even harder for you. What my dad did doesn't even compare to yours..." Jude began, slightly defensive.

"I know. I'm not trying to make you feel bad." Tommy clarified.

"Seriously. Tell me more." he urged. "I know you and your dad are okay now. How did you forgive him after that?"

"It wasn't easy, as you know. But somehow, hearing him out made it easier. Answered all the questions playing endlessly in my head like a warped CD, stuck in place. Finally, I could move forward. I guess it was a relief to understand. And to know for sure that it wasn't my fault."

Tommy nodded, his face more serious than Jude had ever seen it.

"That makes sense. I gotta think about that."

"Right now?" Jude asked, as they pulled into the parking lot at the Children's Hospital.

"No" he assured her, smiling lovingly.

"This is your moment. I just want to be there. Watching it. Enjoying it. Enjoying you."

"Oh, no, you're not! You're gonna sing with me! Like you did on the tour!"

"Somehow, I don't know if those duets would be appropriate here."

On the road, they dazzled audiences with smoldering renditions of "Take My Breath Away" and "It Could Be You". Passion drove these performances, rendering them spectacular; they often ended with them locked tightly in each other's arms, oblivious to the crowd for just a few seconds. This was natural, and completely unplanned, surprising Tommy, so used was he to completely controlling his emotions. The spontaneity and genuineness delighted their fans. Quickly, he acclimated to it; he wanted and needed to kiss her then, and didn't care who saw it. It was that simple. Of course, EJ and Georgia loved it, loved the publicity. Tommy and Jude didn't care about that. They just loved each other.

Jude laughed as she answered him.

"No, of course we're not doing that today. Strictly "holiday" stuff now! But you like those songs. At least some of them. I know what's in your CD player at home." she teased.

Tommy didn't even bother protesting. He knew when he was beat.

"Anything for those kids. Just do me one favor. Don't advertise to the world that I actually like the stuff."

"Bad for the image, right?"

"Exactly. So keep quiet. Or you'll pay for it" he mockingly threatened.

"Just try me, Quincy" she giggled merrily, opening the car door and running inside.

"Jude!"

Both of them turned serious again, as they stood at the hospital's reception desk.

"Jude Harrison. As always, so great to have you here!" Ms. Syms, the recreation director warmly greeted her.

"And I see you brought some help this time." she said, focusing on Tommy.

"Eva Syms, this is Tommy Quincy...". Jude quickly introduced them.

"Nice to meet you. I've been a fan for years." Ms. Syms responded. "The children will be so excited to see both of you. Right this way." she said, directing them down a long corridor.

Jude and Tommy entered a large, colorful room. Cheerful decorations filled the space, including a trimmed, brightly lit tree in the corner. Some children were already assembled in the folding chairs placed in a circle around the room. When they saw the visitors, they immediately clamored for attention.

"Jude! Jude!" they yelled, excitedly.

Jude beamed happily, as she began chatting with the happy young faces.

"We can start in a few minutes. We're still waiting for some more of the kids. I'll go see what's keeping them." Ms. Syms said, excusing herself.

The children continued their gay chatter, all except one. Jude almost missed the small, golden haired little boy, curled up tightly in the window seat in the far corner of the room. With her eyes, she signaled Tommy, who approached the obviously depressed child.

"Hey there" Tommy looked at the boy, flashing his smile that usually instantly drew people to him. This time, it failed. The child curled up protectively in a tight ball, as if he wished to render himself invisible.

"Hi" Tommy tried again, speaking more softly, as his blue eyes sought the younger, but similarly hued pair.

"Are you ok?" he asked kindly.

The little boy remained silent.

"What's your name?" Tommy asked

"Ryan" the youth replied, in the saddest voice Tommy had ever heard.

"Something's bothering you. Isn't it?" he pursued, trying the same soft approach Jude used with him.

"Yes" Ryan's tiny voice whispered.

"Do you want to tell me about it? Maybe I can help."

"I don't think so. Nothing helps!" Ryan cried out in pain.

"Maybe, if we both try together, we can think of something that does. I think we can." Tommy encouraged.

"Really?"

"Yup! So, what is it?"

"My father..." Ryan began.

A cold chill iced Tom's blood; he was performer enough to conceal it.

"I miss him. But I'm not gonna see him again. See this?" he asked, indicating the cast on his right arm.

"Uh-huh. What happened?" Tommy asked, already sensing the answer.

"He threw me down the stairs. I was bad. I didn't listen. But they say it's his fault. It's not. It's mine. Now, he'll hate me! He'll never want to see me again!"

"No. That's not true." Tommy said, responding to the very familiar ache in this child.

"No? How do you know?" Ryan demanded quietly, but firmly.

"Cause, I'm a grown-up, too. Sometimes we do really stupid things. Sometimes we hurt the people we love most. We shouldn't, but we do. And then we stay away from them. Not because we want to. But because we don't want to hurt them again. We don't want to take that chance."

"You hit people, too?" Ryan asked incredulously; it didn't seem possible. The child recoiled in fear.

"No. Never." Tommy quickly reassured him. "But there are other ways of hurting someone. With words."

Ryan nodded, easily understanding that.

"Yeah. My dad does that, too. Calls me names and stuff."

"Great!" Tommy thought, sarcastically. "How many shmucks are there in this world!". He hid this thought from the young boy, thinking instead of a way to comfort him.

"See that beautiful woman there?" Tommy asked him, indicating Jude.

"Yeah. I know she's your girlfriend. I see your picture in magazines!" Ryan grinned, a little sheepishly.

"Yes. She is. Now. But she wasn't always. I said things that hurt her. I thought she hated me. I stayed away from her for a very long time, cause I thought I'd hurt her even more. But that didn't mean I didn't care about her or miss her. I really did."

"But you guys worked it out?" Ryan asked, curious

"Yeah. Cause we wanted to. Cause we love each other. I'm not saying it's easy. Or that things are exactly the same for you and your dad. Your dad hit you. No adult should ever do that to a child. Not ever. He did something wrong. That's not your fault. And it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He's staying away so he won't hurt you again. But it may not always have to be like that. You may see him again, someday. Give it time. It may work out." Tommy soothed.

"Really?" Ryan asked, still skeptical.

"Yeah. Meantime, let's see if we can't find something to cheer you up a little. What makes you happy?" Tommy asked the child.

"I dunno" he replied.

"Shall I tell you something? Sometimes, when I'm sad, I like to sing. It makes me feel better. Wanna try that?"

Ryan nodded.

"Ok. What Christmas song is your favorite?"

"I like "Rudolph""

""Rudolph" it is. We're gonna sing that next. Just for you. But, you gotta help us. Ok?"

"Ok"

Tommy took his hand and led him back towards the circle. Jude and the other children were already singing. After they finished their rendition of "Jingle Bells", Jude turned to them.

"Ok. We got a special request here from Ryan. For that famous red-nosed reindeer! You all know who I'm talking about?"

"Rudolph!" the children all screamed.

"Yeah! That's him." Tommy smiled. "Well, we're gonna sing that song. And Ryan here is going to be our special helper, he said, placing Ryan's fingers on the guitar and covering them with his own.

"Rudolph, the red nosed reindeer..." he began, nodding to the child.

"Had a very shinny nose... And if you ever saw it... You would even say it glows!" the pair sang together.

Jude signaled, and the rest of the children all joined in.

"All of the other reindeer. Used to laugh and call him names! They never let poor Rudolph... Join in any reindeer games..."

Holiday spirits rose as they finished that song.

"That was great!" Tommy cheered. "And let's give it up for our very talented guitar player, Ryan!". The child's face radiated pure joy, as everyone applauded.

The two hours scheduled for the concert flew by. Tommy and Jude really enjoyed their time with the children and especially hated to see this performance end. But it had to; these kids really needed their rest.

"Wonderful! Just great!" Ms. Syms beamed, obviously thrilled.

"Jude, fantastic as always! And Tommy- what can I say? I really want to thank you for what you did for Ryan. He's been here for a month now, and I don't think anyone here ever saw him smile before. I don't know how, but it's as if you two really understand each other."

"I think we do." Tommy said softly.

"Oh" responded Ms. Syms simply, not wanting to pry.

"Well, it was a pleasure! Hopefully, I'll see both of you here again soon!"

"Yes. Definitely." Tommy answered her first, and Jude nodded in confirmation.

"Great. Happy Holidays! The best to you both and to your families!"

"The same to you and everyone here!" Jude and Tommy bestowed similar holiday wishes to the hospital staff.

Hand in hand, they returned to the car. When they reached it, Jude stopped, throwing her arms around Tommy, hugging him as closely as she could.

"Hey. What's that for?" he asked, surprised, but clearly delighted, as his arms tightened around her.

"You know" she smiled. "That was amazing. What you did for Ryan. What was bothering him, anyway?"

"Let's just say, his father and mine have something in common." Tommy responded, his mood darkening.

"Tommy..." Jude drew back, so she could see his face. Her hand stroked his icy cold cheek.

His eyes bored deep into hers.

"It's okay, Jude. Really, it is. "

She looked at him in disbelief.

"It was hard to listen to him. Even harder to talk to him. But it felt good to help that kid. Damm good!"

"What did you say to him, anyway? You didn't tell him about your dad?"

"No, of course not. That wouldn't help him. I still don't know how that's gonna turn out..." Tommy paused.

"So? What did you say instead?'

"That what his father did was wrong. But that it wasn't his fault. That sometimes people do really stupid things and hurt people they love- their feelings, if not their body. But also that sometimes, if they want to, they can work it out. Cause they love each other."

Jude's gloved hand sought Tommy's bare fingers.

"Is that what you really want?" she asked gently.

"It was. With you" he smiled softly, remembering. "With my dad, I still don't know. I really doubt that's possible. I still hate him. I can't imagine that changing. He's scum! Worse than that! But there are things I want to know. And somehow, talking to Ryan, I felt stronger. Like I could deal with seeing him now, if I wanted to."

"You can." she assured him

"Thanks." he said and hugged her again, feeling her shivering.

"You're freezing. Come on. Let's get outta here!" he said.

They got into the Viper and started for home.


	7. Catharsis

Holiday- An Instant Star Christmas Story

Chapter 7- Catharsis

Tommy and Jude then stopped for an early dinner at their favorite Mexican restaurant. Several plates of nachos, quesadillas, chimichangas, rice and beans later, he drove her home.

"So, I'll see you here tomorrow night?" she asked.

"Yeah. What time?"

"Around 6:00 would be good."

"Ok" he agreed.

"You sure you're up to this? I know you're having a hard time right now. You don't have to..."

Tommy pressed his lips on Jude's, silencing her.

"I want to." he replied softly.

"Ok, then" she breathlessly said. "Goodnight"

"Goodnight, sweetheart"

After one more kiss, she slipped out of the car, running inside.

Tommy quickly drove the short distance to his apartment, and entered. It was the night before Christmas eve. He still had some organizing to do. Wisely, he requested that the specialty store wrap Jude's present. However, the others remained for him to take care of. He also needed to sign and attach all the cards.

He reached for the large shopping bag where he stashed all his presents. Removing the first box, he reached for the gift bags and tissue paper purchased earlier. However, he could not focus; the task at hand stymied him. The shinny red bags and sparkly tissue mocked him with their festive glitter and glow; his mood contradicted this. Disgust, rage and confusion prevailed in his head.

As if they burned his fingers, Tommy abruptly dropped the wrapping materials. As he had each night since receiving his father's phone call, he surrendered to his dark thoughts. Seeing Ryan earlier that day made it even worse, reviving even stronger emotions. Once again, the voices played in his head, this time even more vividly.

"_Stupid boy. Idiot!"_

_Slaps and punches, his voice too frightened to scream._

_His mother's tears... blood flowing... bruises discoloring skin._

"I hate you! I never want to see you again!" Tommy screamed in his empty apartment.

Trembling, he curled up in a fetal position on the cold floor. This posture was even more reminiscent of Ryan, of a frightened, abused little boy trying to hide.

"_It's not his fault. It's mine. I'll never see him again. He hates me..."_

"_He did something wrong. It's not your fault he hurt you. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. You may see him again..."_

"Who says I want to!" Tommy yelled again.

"_He's my boy. Go fly that plane! You can do it!" _James Quincy confidently proclaimed.

"_I love you, daddy!"_

"_I love you, too."_ he answered, hugging Tommy.

"Why? Tell me why?" Tommy wailed.

"He said he loved me, but then he hurt me... He was proud of me, sometimes... I'll never understand... I can't read his mind... If I don't work this out somehow... I'm gonna go insane!"

"_He's still hurting you"_ Jude had told him.

"Damm it!" Tommy cried out, sick of his schizophrenia.

"Am I gonna listen to this crap for the rest of my life... Back and forth... What kind of future will I have if it's always like this... I'm crazy... Just like him... Unless... Jude's right... Unless I find a way to deal... But how?"

This time, the voices in his head helped out, offering a constructive suggestion.

"_Sometimes, when I'm sad, I like to sing. It makes me feel better..."_

As if his life depended on it, Tommy desperately reached for the notepad on his desk and a pen. Denying himself the comfort of table and chair, he sunk back down to the floor, leaning his back against the couch. Placing the notebook on his lap, he wrote, rewrote and edited. Twilight deepened the outside sky to deep black and then bleached it to greyish blue as morning dawned. A storm clearly was brewing outside. Tommy was oblivious to that, or to anything but the music he so painstakingly created. Clutching his completed song in his hand, he put on his shoes and grabbed his jacket. Running out the door, he drove automatically and without thought back to Jude's house.

He parked once again outside the Harrison residence. Now possessing some awareness of the early hour, he removed his cell phone from his pocket, and pushed some button. His anxiety increased, as the most familiar ringtone sounded again and again.

"Answer me, Jude. Please answer!" he willed the inanimate object.

After what seemed like an endless wait, her voice responded, sleepy and confused.

"Hello?"

"Jude, it's me."

"What's wrong?" she asked, immediately starting to panic.

"I'm sorry. I know I scared you. I'm sorry I woke you. I'm okay. I just need to show you something. Now"

"Where are you?"

"Look out your window"

She parted her curtains and he waved at her, somewhat embarrassed.

"Tommy" she sighed.

"I know. I'm crazy. But I really need you to look at this. I didn't want to wake your mom or Sadie. Can you just come downstairs? Please. It's important."

"Of course" she said, knowing he really needed her.

Wearing his sweatshirt over faded flannel pajamas, she padded down the stairs and opened the front door.

"Tommy, it's barely 6:00. What's going on?' she asked.

He took her hand and led her into the living room. They sat down next to the Christmas tree.

"Will you just sing this for me?" he requested, handing her the crumpled paper.

Jude quickly read the contents.

"No" she answered.

"But..." he began to protest. She cut him off.

"I think you should be the one to sing this."

"I don't know if I can."

"Just here. Right now. With me. Try" she urged.

"Well, ok" and he began.

"_In the dark, I try to read his mind"_

"_But I'm frightened of the things, I might find."_

"_Oh, there must be something he's thinking of"_

"_To tear him away, hey, hey"_

"_But I tell him that I'm falling in love..."_

"_Why does he say, hey, hey..."_

"_Hush, hush"_

"_Keep it down now..."_

"_Voices carry."_

"_Hush, hush"_

"_Keep it down now..."_

"_Voices carry."_

Tommy's voice faltered, but he continued with the next verse.

"_I try so hard not to get upset."_

"_Cause I know all the trouble I'll get."_

"_Oh, he tells me tears are something to hide,"_

"_Something to fret, hey, hey."_

"_And I try so hard to keep it inside"_

"_So no one can say..."_

"_Hush, hush"_

"_Keep it down now."_

"_Voices carry."_

"_Hush, hush"_

"_Keep it down now"_

"_Voices carry"_

Tommy's voice became an anguished wail, as he sang the final chorus.

"_He wants me"_

"_But only part of the time..."_

"_He wants me..."_

"_When he can keep me in line..."_

"_Hush, hush"_

"_Keep it down now..."_

"_Voices carry..."_

Tommy felt himself crashing, breaking down. He trailed off uncertainly, as tears saturated his eyes, slipping out to soak his face. He sobbed, hysterically, uncontrollably and seemingly endlessly, as he finally released all the pain of a lifetime.

"Why? Why did he have to change? Why made him so angry? What happened? Why did he have to kill her? Why did she have to die? Leaving me all alone!" he ranted.

Jude's arms wrapped around Tommy, her hands stroking his hair and back as she wordlessly offered him all the comfort and love she could. She felt him shaking. She had never seen him like this before. She wondered if anyone ever had.

Tommy eventually stopped crying. Exhausted, he lifted his head from her shoulder. Jude's hands tenderly cupped his red face, as she stared into his bloodshot, swollen eyes. For once, she had no idea what to say to him. But he spoke first.

"I really flipped out on you, huh?"

"It's ok."

"I'm crazy, you know."

"Yes. But not because of this. This is you hurting."

"I never cried before." he confessed.

"Not ever?"

"No. Not like this. And just once at all. Briefly. The morning of my mother's funeral."

"Maybe you needed to" Jude replied.

"Maybe. But I could never allow myself to do it. You know why."

"Yes"

"I really miss her, Jude. She was so special. She encouraged me. Believed in me. Loved me. I never had a chance to tell her how I felt..."

"She knew. She was your mom."

"Maybe she did. Wanna hear something?"

"Yes"

"I just wish she could meet you. Cause you are everything she ever wanted for me."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I wish I could have known her too. She sounds terrific!"

"She was" Tommy agreed.

Remembering his deep love for one parent only triggered his rage towards the other.

"But my dad... I really hate him!" he proclaimed again, but much more calmly this time. His earlier outburst temporarily neutralized his potent anger.

"He screwed everything up! Why? I need to know why? And I need to tell him how I really feel. Then maybe these voices, these memories will stop haunting me..."

"Does that mean?" Jude began, the obvious question in her clear blue eyes.

"Yeah. I think it does." Tommy answered.

"I'm going to see him. Confront him, confront this. Then maybe I can finally put it to rest."

He held Jude close, as he continued, whispering softly in her ear.

"I'm scared. Scared to be so close to him. But I gotta do this. Cause clearly, if I go on like this, something could happen to me. This anger makes me wacko! I could really go nuts! Just like him! I don't want to be like that! I can't be! Besides, I could end up hurting you, destroying us. I won't let that happen. Not when it took so long for us to finally be together... If confronting him is what I gotta do to prevent it, then that's what's gonna happen. For you, for me and for us."

"Tommy, I just don't know what to say..." Jude replied.

"You? Not know what to say?" he teased her, then his demeanor changed, becoming serious.

"Don't say anything. Just hold me. I love you. I need you. I can't do this without you."

"I'm here. Always. I love you." she assured him.

Time stood still. They just sat in front of the brightly lit Christmas tree, entwined and lost in their embrace.


	8. Tidings Of Comfort And Joy

Holiday- An Instant Star Christmas Story

Chapter 8- Tidings Of Comfort and Joy

Author's note: Ok. I've been quiet, not putting any notes on my last few chapters (just getting them out to you as quickly as I could!). So I hope you'll indulge me now- I've a few things I need to say here.

First, I want to wish everyone here the happiest of holidays and all the best in 2006! You all deserve it! And I really want to thank everyone- I see the reviews of all my stories and the "stats", and all I can say is WOW! When I first started doing this, it was a little scary. I hadn't really written fiction in years and never posted anything. I didn't know what to expect... To see the response to my work makes me feel so amazing- kind of like an "Instant Star" (hee-hee!). So thanks to all of you who read and review- you also encourage and support. I wonder if you realize just how important that is and how special... I so enjoy hearing from everyone... and knowing what you're thinking...especially now with the "response" feature so I can write back. So please keep it up!

Second, since you guys have all been so interested in these, I wanted to give some hints as to my plans for 2006 stories. Many of you know that I have so far published four stories here- two one-shots and two "chapter" stories. Three of these are related. Some of you have asked about the sequence- "Montreal, 1999" occurs first, then Chapter 1 of "Instant Star- Rise Of The Next Generation". Chronologically, "Holiday" takes place after that chapter. "Next Generation" then kicks in again, with it's look to the future. A little jumbled, but it's how each story works best. My plans for this year include finishing "Holiday" (naturally!) and "Next Generation". For those of you who haven't yet checked out that one, I recommend you do... it's gonna get real juicy and dramatic in the next two chapters. After I finish that, I've already got plans for a sequel... in fact, I've already started a little of it. In my "backwards" tradition, it's actually more of a prequel, covering the years before Tommy and Jude finally got it together! I'm also toying with some other ideas, including more "Holiday" stories for other occasions, since you all seem to like those!

Okay, now that I've said what I needed to... on to Tommy and Jude's first Christmas together. But first, let me just say it again- May your holidays be awesome and may all your dreams come true!

Heart you all!

Dorothy (aka- starryeyed68)

Ch 8- Tidings Of Comfort And Joy

Approximately twelve hours later, Tommy returned to the Harrison residence in a very different mood. His decision made, he felt lighter, almost giddy. He marveled at the change, recalling his emotions when he left Jude early that morning.

"How do you feel now?" she asked him.

"Better. A lot. It's so good to finally know what to do." he replied, his hands affectionately caressing her hair and face.

Jude smiled softly, he was obviously happier now, acting and sounding more like himself.

"You do seem more relaxed." she whispered.

"You do this to me." he muttered, in a low, sexy growl. "I love the way you make me feel"

"Nobody ever cared as much for me... Nobody touched my heart and healed my pain..." she teasingly sang, quoting his old hit song.

"Stop! You're hurting my ears! Jude Harrison should not cover "Boyz Attack". Ouch!" he playfully grimaced.

"But it fits!" she protested, laughing.

"Damm right!"

Unable to resist, he bent his head towards hers. His hands locked on her waist and hers buried in his hair as they kissed with total abandonment. Lost in passion, they almost missed the sounds in the hallway.

"Mom" Jude said.

Quickly and just in time, they separated. Victoria Harrison entered the room. Startled, she gasped.

"Tom?"

"Good morning, Mrs. Harrison" he replied smoothly.

Jude stifled a hysterical giggle, as she looked at the completely puzzled expression on her mother's face. To diffuse the tense moment, she spoke.

"Tommy just stopped in for a little bit to bring me something. It was an emergency." she explained.

"An emergency?" Victoria Harrison parroted back.

"Absolutely. I hope I didn't wake you. Not when you are being so kind as to have me over tonight for the holiday."

"No. I always get up this early. To work out." Victoria answered truthfully, staring first at Tommy and then at her daughter, noting the former's pale face and red eyes.

"Everything ok?" she asked, knowing with her maternal instinct that something serious had happened, but not wanting to pry.

"Yes. Now I am." Tom replied, in response to her concern and her deep, questioning gaze, exactly like Jude's.

"Good."

"Anyway, I'm gonna get going. I've still got some things to do before tonight. But I'll see you then. 6:00, right?

"Yes" Victoria confirmed.

Tommy left and headed home. Once there, he threw off his sweat and tear soaked clothes and collapsed on his bed. Finally, he could really sleep, deeply and peacefully. Fully rested, he awoke, showered and dressed. He completed his gift wrapping, tossed these presents back in the bag and called Jude.

"Hi" she answered, delighted to hear his voice.

"Hi"

"You sound wonderful."

"I feel wonderful. But I'm also bored just sitting here by myself..."

"You wanna come over a bit early? You can help me set up."

"Yeah. Okay." he said, already pulling on his coat.

"I'm on my way."

A light snow began to fall as he reached Jude's house. Carrying his heavy, overstuffed bag, he bounded cheerfully up the porch steps. Just as he got to the top, she swung the door open.

"Come in. It's freezing out!" she greeted him.

He quickly did what she said, dropping his sack as soon as he was inside. There were much more important things for his hands to hold just then. Emotion equally overwhelmed Jude as she hurled herself into his eager arms, which only reached out to snatch her closer. Their lips met, as they both surrendered yet again to their magical chemistry.

"I'm just so damm happy." he whispered. "I love you. You have no idea how much..." he said, between kisses.

"Of course I do. I feel it, too. I love you, Tommy. I always have."

Finally, necessarily, they stopped kissing. Jude's hands stroked Tommy's shoulders.

"Your jacket's wet. Come on. Take it off. Your shoes, too."

"You're undressing me? Here? Now? Do you really think you should? Not that I mind..."

"Funny, Quincy. Seriously, my mom will kill me if I let you drip all over the carpet. Besides, you'll get cold."

"If that's your wish" he smirked and handed his damp clothes to her.

"I'll just put these in the laundry room to dry out. You go right in there." she said, directing him towards the living room.

"I'll be right back" she promised.

Tommy smiled broadly as he entered the large, but homey space. He admired the festive tree he had been too distressed to notice earlier. The sizable blue spruce was covered in decorations, including some very special and personal ornaments. Some of these commemorated important family moments, and others were obviously handmade by Jude and Sadie when they were younger. Irresistibly tempted, his eyes drifted downwards to the stacks of colorfully wrapped gifts, trying to spot one with his name on the tag.

"No peeking, Quincy." Jude said, seeing what he was up to.

"Who said I was? Just admiring this incredible tree."

"Please. Your eyes were glued to the floor!"

"Whatever! Besides, I'd much rather look at you" he responded flirtatiously, eyeing Jude, dressed in slim fitting jeans, and a red lace wrap top, with a V neckline.

"Beautiful" he said, drawing her close again.

"You, too." she replied, admiring Tommy, dressed in similar hues, in a red wool sweater and jeans.

After spending a few minutes lost in each other's eyes, and one more passionate kiss, they reluctantly focused on the tasks at hand.

"Ok. You said something about getting stuff ready. What can I do to help?"

"Well, mom and Sadie went to take care of some last things. I'm supposed to set out some food. Cheese, crackers, chips, veggies, dip. So?"

"Lead me to it."

In the kitchen, they worked efficiently, assembling the appetizers.

"So, who else is coming?"

"Well, tonight, it's just us. Sadie and her boyfriend Jimmy, and mom and her new boyfriend, Eric." Jude informed him, a strange look in her eye. Tommy instantly picked up on that.

"So, how's that going for you?" he asked. Jude had discussed her feelings about her mother's new relationship while they were away.

"It's still hard for me to deal with. Hard to see her with someone else. But she's really happy. Happier than she's been in a while. I'm not gonna ruin that; she had such a hard time with the divorce. Besides, much as I hate to admit it, Eric's a good guy. He really treats her well. And he's cool. I can talk to him, which is more than I can say for Yvette. I don't get what Dad sees in her. She's sweet, but a total airhead!"

"We'll go there tommorow afternoon, right?"

"Yup. See my grandparents, Dad, Yvette, her son. And their new babies."

"The twins. Lucy and Michelle." Tommy remembered.

"Yup. What can I say? You know Dad and the Beatles. Obsessed much!" Jude shook her head, as she arranged the vegetables that Tommy sliced on serving dishes.

They finished working on the food, as they heard a car pull up in the driveway. Jude and Tommy walked back towards the hall to greet that person.

"Hi! Brrr! It's freezing out there!" Victoria Harrison said, quickly removing her snow-covered boots.

"It's really starting to come down. Here, let me take that." Tommy gallantly offered, reaching for the bulky package in her hands.

"Thanks. It's chocolate mousse pie." Victoria informed him, answering his unspoken question. "The girls love it. We have to have it every year. Tradition"

"Mmmm! Sounds great!"

"And Jude tells me you are a fan of lasagne?"

"It's my favorite!" Tommy admitted.

Victoria smiled in obvious pleasure.

"Good. Cause that's what we're having tonight."

Her arms surrounded him in a welcoming hug.

"I'm really glad you could be here with us tonight. I know how much my daughter cares about you."

"And I really care about her." Tommy replied, with total sincerity.

"I know" Victoria answered. Seeing them this morning dissolved her doubts about their relationship. The genuineness and strength of their feelings was clearly apparent to her. She herself was now falling in love again, and only wished for that same happiness for both of her daughters. Now, she could be confident that Jude had found it.

"Anyway, welcome!' she continued. "Let me go dry off! Sadie went to get Jimmy. He's apparently having car trouble."

"In this weather? Understandable."

"I just hope they get here soon. Eric too. That snow's not letting up. Anyway, please excuse me for a few minutes?"

"Sure" Tommy and Jude agreed.

The two carrier the appetizer plates into the living room, setting them on the end and coffee tables.

"Perfect!" Jude smiled.

"Perfect!" Tommy echoed, seemingly dazed. Jude looked intently at him.

"You aren't just talking about food?" she asked softly.

"No. I'm talking about everything. A real family holiday. I haven't had this in a very long time." he replied, looking affectionately at her.

"Now, shall I set out my presents?"

"Sure!" Jude's eyes widened in curiosity.

"No peeking!" he chided her, mimicking her earlier stance.

She pouted, but Tommy cleverly unloaded his gifts, stacking hers underneath several others so she couldn't see it.

"Later" he promised her.

"When we're alone." he thought. "I want you all to myself for this."

Commotion outside interrupted his private musings, as Jude squealed excitedly, and took his hand, interlacing his fingers with her own.

"Sadie and Jimmy are here! And I think Eric just pulled up behind them! Come on! It's Christmas!"

Grinning, he let Jude lead him to her family.

Several hours later, Tommy again found himself alone with Jude in the living room. He had really enjoyed the time spent with her mother and sister and their boyfriends. The Harrison women clearly shared strong bonds, even Jude and Sadie, despite the pronounced rivalry they experienced growing up. The sisters now finally appeared to have matured past that, with Jude fully absorbed in her music, and Sadie pursuing her dream of a journalism career with her usual tenacity. Both young women were now increasingly confident and stronger, eliminating their need to compare and compete with each other. More importantly, both loved and were loved deeply. So was their mother. Tommy really liked her friend Eric. He was intelligent and could converse knowledgeably on a variety of topics. Dinner had been a huge success. Tommy felt Jude's family embracing him, enfolding him in their warm circle. He communicated this to Jude, when she asked him.

"Did you have fun?"

"Yeah. I really did! Everyone was great! I think your mom and Sadie really do like me."

"Silly! You know they always have!"

"This is different. Your mom... I think she's starting to really trust me. To be okay with me and you."

"I think so, too." Jude smiled, satisfied.

"So. Sadie and Jimmy went to see friends. Eric left to spend time with his kids. Your mom's upstairs. Just you and me here. All alone." he smiled.

"Yeah. So? What did you have in mind?"

"This" he responded, picking her up and gently dropping her on the couch.

"You're crazy!" she cried out as he lowered her down.

"About you." he replied, jumping on top of her.

He hovered over Jude, covering every inch of her body with his. Aware of her mother's presence upstairs, tonight, he just wanted to be as close to her as he could. Jude sighed contentedly, drowning in his deepest embrace and the intensity of his lips against hers.

Eventually, she rolled over onto him.

"Now. Presents!" she squealed.

"Why not? We're alone. We need to take advantage of it."

"I thought we just did." she laughed.

"Yeah" he said, sweetly kissing her neck.

"But there's more..."

"Oh, yeah. Mine first!" Jude called out with childlike glee, jumping up and reaching for a flat, rectangular package wrapped in silver paper, with goofy-looking reindeer playing musical instruments on it.

"Hmm? What can this be?" Tommy wondered, opening it as slowly as he could just to torture her.

"Could you take any longer!" Jude moaned impatiently.

"Just enjoying a moment. Ah..." he said, lifting the lid off a cardboard box. He picked up the soft, fabric contents.

"New sweats" he grinned.

"Well, I thought I'd better make up for the ones I borrow..."

"Or have more to choose from?"

"Maybe..."

Tommy thought he had emptied the box, but then noted the cream-colored envelope remaining. He shot a questioning glance at Jude.

"Just open it!" she urged, her soft blue eyes glowing.

He did. Inside was a picture, with a note attached.

"I don't believe it. This is a cabin in the mountains. It's amazing. You gave me a week there."

"Well, I remember that interview you did for Sadie's media class in high school. You said that was what you really wanted. Where you'd like to be, always. But I could only manage one week."

"You remembered that?" he said, deeply touched. "Jude, that was two years ago."

"Of course I do."

"Do you remember the rest of that interview?'

"Yeah. Something about a special woman there besides you?"

"Yes. And now I have her, too. This is so perfect. Now we have somewhere to go and relax. After the tour. I couldn't think of anything better. You are wonderful." he continued, thanking her first with words, then with his eyes and soft lips.

Thrilled beyond belief, he picked up Jude's present, hoping only to make her as happy as she made him.

"Now you" he said, handing her a bigger box.

"So heavy" she commented, sitting down with it in her lap.

"What's in it? Bricks?" Jude asked, as she untied the ribbons.

"Not exactly."

Her hands trembled with excitement as she tore off the wrapping and opened the box.

She then removed a plush cashmere blanket, in midnight blue, her favorite color. Jude stroked it, thoughtfully.

"I wanted to keep you warm." Tommy explained.

"Yes. I love it. Thank you."

She fought to keep the disappointment out of her voice. She did like it, but knowing her boyfriend as well as she did, she expected his present to be something more personal and romantic.

Tommy smiled, enjoying Jude's confusion and reading her thoughts. He was teasing her.

"Oh, I almost forgot. This goes with it." He held out a much smaller box.

Jude threw the blanket at his face, in mock anger.

"Well, if you don't want it..."

She snatched the box from his hand, and opened it. Her heart raced when she viewed the contents. It took her breath away.

"I've never seen anything like this. Where'd you find it?"

"I didn't. And I looked for months. It was impossible. Seemed no one had a perfect, star-shaped diamond pendant with a platinum chain. So I had to have it made for you. Earrings, too, while I was at it."

"I love it. It's so special. Unique. So beautiful"

"Everything you are. That's why I wanted it. The star has so many meanings. It's how we met. It's what you are to me. What you always will be. I love you, girl."

"I love you, Tommy"

"Here. Let me put it on you."

He fastened it securely on her long neck. Her silky hair brushed his fingers, an invitation he could not refuse, as he brought it to his lips. She turned to face him; he watched the star shining just below her collarbones. They kissed with the same energy and raw, potent need and feeling as before.

Outside, it began snowing again.

"White Christmas" Tommy said.

"Yes. So, stay here tonight." she suggested.

"With you?" he grinned suggestively.

"Not exactly. I don't think Mom would go for that! But on the couch. It's snowing. This way, you won't have to drive home tonight and back here tomorrow morning. Plus, I get to be near you."

"I like that last reason the best."

"So? Is that a yes?" Jude asked.

"Well, I do have new sweats to sleep in. And I suppose you'll share that blanket with me tonight."

"I could do that"

"Ok. I'm all yours. On one condition."

"There always is with you."

"But you'll like this one." Tommy promised. "Tomorrow night. Your turn. You stay over at my place."

"As if I could resist that."

"Good. So, now what?" he asked.

"Let's find a movie and relax."

"Good plan"

She curled up in his arms on the sofa, as he pulled the new blue blanket snugly around them, kissing the top of her head. Both then shared the exact same thought.

"Absolutely perfect"


	9. Father Figures

Holiday- An Instant Star Christmas Story

Chapter 9- Father Figures

Author's Note: Hi again! I hope everyone is enjoying their holidays! Just a few words, and it's on to chapter 9. First, I know Christmas is over; I meant to have this "Christmas Day" chapter out by that day, but it just couldn't be ready... hope no one minds having this "holiday" go a bit longer! Seriously, I even thought about cutting or shortening this chapter, but I just couldn't... Jude's grandmother is just too cool and the rest of it too critical! Secondly, about this chapter title- I always pride myself on being 100 original. The title "Father Figure (s)" comes from the George Michael song, circa 1980's. "Supposed Rockstar" actually quoted the song first in one of her chapter titles, and I know one other person here has a story with that title. Ordinarily, I'd never ever, ever use something that's been "done" that way. But I just think it really fits here... this story is about Tommy's relationship with his own father; this particular chapter focuses on him and Stuart Harrison, as well as his own wish to have his own family. Plus, most of my chapter titles come from 1980's song lyrics... my friends don't call me "80's girl" for nothing. Try as I did, nothing else seemed to work! So, please excuse my "sharing"... then again, George Michael is actually the one "loaning" this to us all... If he only knew...

Ok... I've been silly enough... guess the cookie induced sugar high is still on! So anyway, you guys know the drill by now... read, enjoy and review!

dorothy

Chapter 9- Father Figures

In the middle of the night, the snow stopped falling, leaving a cloak of pristine, picturesque whiteness behind. Inside the Harrison home, Tommy slumbered peacefully, despite the narrowness of their couch. So deeply asleep was he, he did not hear Jude tiptoe quietly into the living room. Then again, she had no intentions of rousing him that way. It was 9:15; he did need to get up before Victoria and Sadie did. But three months on tour with him taught Jude a considerable amount about Tommy Quincy. He could get really cranky in the mornings, unless she approached him just the right way.

Jude slipped under the soft cashmere blanket next to him. As always, he woke happily to hergentle morning kiss. She then dropped her head onto his shoulder; he felt her light breath on his neck. Tommy automatically slipped his arms around her, holding her close. He knew only that he could wake up with her this way every day and never grow tired of it.

"Morning, sweetheart" he whispered, using his private nickname for her, a moniker he had never bestowed on anyone else.

"Morning, handsome" she replied.

"I can't believe you're up this early." he wondered. On tour, Jude was the complete night owl, up till all hours and not getting out of bed until noon.

"It's not that early. It's already 9:15."

"Feels earlier, somehow."

"Well, we stayed up pretty late last night. Watching those movies." Jude had remained downstairs with him until after 2:00 that morning.

"I guess I was too excited to sleep." he admitted.

"Yeah. I know. Me too." she said, unconsciously fingering her necklace. Tommy watched her and smiled.

"That looks so right on you. I knew it would."

"Of course you did. And of course it does. You gave it to me."

"Come here"

He drew her in for a long, deep kiss and Jude sighed.

"Much as I want to, we can't just lie here together. Mom and Sadie will be down soon."

"They do know I'm here?" Tommy questioned, not wanting to shock Victoria Harrison two mornings in a row.

"Yeah. But, still, you'd better get dressed. Me, too. We've presents to open and brunch to eat. Then, we're off to Dad's."

"Yeah" Tommy replied absently, his eyes slightly darkening. Jude instantly noticed that.

"I saw that look. Out with it, Quincy"

"Well, seeing your father. That's got me a little nervous." he admitted.

"Really? Why?"

"You told me how he is. How angry he got when Sadie was 18, and dated a 22 year old. Well, you're 18. And I'm even older than Sadie's boyfriend was. Two years older..." Tommy mused, stroking Jude's auburn hair.

"He's not exactly happy with me."

" I know." Jude said, honestly, and continued. "When I told my parents about us, my mom, as you know was uncomfortable. But my dad totally freaked!" Jude remembered.

"I know how tight you two were. At least, before the divorce. " Tommy began.

"Yeah. It's not quite the same now. We're not quite that close anymore. But I still love him. And some things never change. He's still overprotective."

"You're still his girl." Tommy said thoughtfully.

"I guess. Even with the babies..." Jude replied, softly.

"I don't want to cause trouble." Tommy added. "But I do want to be with you. I don't know..."

"He'll need time. But he'll see we love each other. That we're serious. He'll eventually understand just like mom did."

"He can have all the time he wants. Cause, I'm not planning on letting you go, girl."

They stared deeply into each other's eyes, surrendering irresistibly to another series of kisses. Reluctantly, Jude broke away.

"We'd better get dressed." she said, regretfully.

"Yeah. I guess you're right.

They showered and changed, finishing just as Sadie and Victoria Harrison awoke. Soon, the two women joined Tommy and Jude in the living room. He watched anxiously, as Jude distributed presents, handing his gifts to her mother and sister. Tommy carefully watched for their reactions. But Jamie's suggestions were spot-on. Sadie adored her baby-pink cashmere sweater with the jeweled neckline and Victoria went equally crazy over her Chanel#5 deluxe gift set.".

"Thank you, Jamie Andrews. I owe you one!" Tommy mentally noted.

Jude smiled blissfully, seeing three of the people she loved most so incredibly happy.

"Oh, look. I see one more present!" Victoria exclaimed, handing the red envelope to Tommy.

"This is from Sadie and me."

Surprised, Tommy took it. He had not expected anything.

"Open it!" Jude encouraged him, her blue eyes gleaming.

He did as she instructed, removing an Amazon gift certificate.

"Jude told us you love movies. That you have a big collection at home. So we figured, we'd help you make it bigger! We didn't know what you had, or which ones you wanted, so this seemed to be a good idea."

"It's great. Perfect for me. Thank you."

"Merry Christmas, Tom!" Sadie said, giving him a quick hug and a kiss on his cheek, Victoria responded similarly.

"I'm starving. Let's get brunch on the table. Then, you guys better hit the road!" she continued.

"Yes. I have to pick up Jimmy. His car's still messed up." Sadie agreed.

"So, let's get to it."

Around 2:00, Tommy carefully steered the Viper into the driveway of Stuart Harrison's home, located on the other side of town. The streets had been plowed, but the bitter cold still remained. He turned off the engine, and inhaled deeply.

Jude gently squeezed his hand, hoping to reassure him. She knew that there would be tension, but she had confidence in the two most important men in her life. Tommy and her father would find some way to work it out.

Tommy smiled at Jude, as they both got out of the car. They linked hands as they walked up to the front door. Before they could ring the bell, an older woman answered.

"Grandma!" Jude yelled, happily.

"My goodness! Look at you! Just beautiful. And the last CD you sent me! Loved it! I play it at my card games, so all my friends can hear it!"

"Bridge?" Tommy wondered, guessing from long-ago memories of his own grandmother.

"Grandma's a poker addict. Plays every week!" Jude informed him.

"Yes... I used to play with my husband. Beat him most of the time, too! Anyway, that last CD... so emotional. Pure, raw sounds... I take it this young man here is the reason why?"

"Yes. Tommy, this is my grandma Harrison..." Jude began introducing them.

"Violet" Mrs. Harrison corrected her.

"Grandma, this is my producer, Tommy Quincy." Jude continued, suddenly modest.

"Producer? Is that what you call him? Don't try to fool me young lady! Boyfriend is more like it, don't you think?"

"Well, yeah. He's that, too." Jude said, blushing.

"No need to be shy with me. I enjoy seeing two people so obviously in love. Reminds me of myself and your grandfather, rest his soul."

"He died four years ago." Jude informed Tommy.

"I'm sorry" he replied, automatically.

"Thank you. But we had a wonderful life together. Married over fifty years! I only wish everyone I love could be that fortunate." she sighed. Stuart's divorce shattered her, devastating Violet Harrison as much as anyone else in the family. She had adjusted, but remained a little wistful.

Her mind shifted to happier topics, as she beamed interestingly at Tommy.

"Producer, huh. You must tell me more about that. How do you put my granddaughter's wonderful records together?"

"Grandma used to sing, too." Jude added.

"A long time ago... I wasn't anything much... Not like her!"

"Don't believe that! She was awesome!" Jude retorted.

"Well, maybe we should just try you out. Jude could use some back-up!" Tommy joked.

Before she could respond, Stuart Harrison entered the hallway.

"Jude!" he called, warmly embracing his daughter.

"It's good to see you dad!" she burst out, returning his hug.

He broke away from her and locked eyes with Tommy. The two men stared intensely at each other.

"It's good to have you here today, Tom." Stuart Harrison greeted him, shaking his hand firmly.

"Thank you for having me." he replied, equaling Mr. Harrison's firm grip.

"Well, you are an important part of my daughter's life. We should talk. Get to know each other a bit better." Stuart continued.

"Yes" Tommy agreed, a bit uneasy.

"We'll do that later. For now, you both come sit down. Have something to drink. Get comfortable if my mother wants to talk your ear off!"

"Just asking this talented young man about his magic." Violet Harrison broke in, a twinkle in her eye.

"And I've absolutely no problem with that!" Tommy smiled charmingly at her.

"Shall we?" he asked, linking arms with Jude's grandmother, in an old-fashioned way, escorting her into the living room.

Violet Harrison was instantly and completely charmed.

"He's a keeper. Oh, if I were fifty years younger... Even forty! " she told Jude later.

Jude smiled, pleased with her grandmother's approval.

"But even if I was, it wouldn't matter." Violet continued. "He wouldn't want anyone else. He's obviously completely smitten with you, my dear."

"I know" Jude replied, then frowned.

"So, what's the problem?"

"Dad. He thinks Tommy's too old. Not right for me. I just hope he comes around." Jude confided, seeking her grandmother's support.

"He will, my dear. He's your father. He wants you to be happy. He will see that Tommy gives you that, and then he will trust him."

"You make it sound so simple." Jude marveled.

"It will be. With time. Ah, look. They're talking now."

A few minutes ago, Stuart Harrison had taken his wine glass and approached his daughter's producer-turned-boyfriend. Tommy stood alone, looking at the family pictures on the wall.

"Nice, huh?" Stuart asked.

"Yes. You have a wonderful family." Tommy replied sincerely.

"Yes. I'm lucky. Four beautiful daughters now. A wonderful and loving wife. A devoted mother. And a handsome, intelligent, energetic stepson."

Tommy nodded politely at that last comment. Jude had given him a very different picture of her stepbrother, David. She knew more about him, since they had attended high school together.

"A creep. Thought he was all that! And a total dog! Hits on every female he can!"

"Did he ever come on to you?" Tommy had wondered.

"Well, yeah. After dad moved in with Yvette. After I became famous. I guess I wasn't worth it before."

"You're right. He's a jerk. An idiot, too if he ever thought that. But if he tries anything now, he's a dead man!" Tommy promised.

"Don't worry. He won't. Not after what I said to him then!" Jude grinned at the memory.

"Good"

Stuart's voice jolted him back to the present.

"But right now, Tom, I"m interested in hearing more about you. Come, let's go chat in my den for a few moments."

Tommy walked with Stuart down to that room, trying hard not to gulp his red wine too conspicuously.

"So..." Stuart began carefully. "Jude tells me the tour is going very well."

"Yes. It's her best yet. I don't need to tell you what an incredible talent she's got. Or what an incredible person she is; that's really what makes her music so special. People can't help loving it. Loving her." Tommy replied naturally, not thinking about how much he was really disclosing.

However, the true meaning of his words did not escape Stuart Harrison.

"Is he... He's saying he loves her. My baby... and him?" Jude's father realized how honest Tommy was being, although in an indirect manner. Stuart opted to be completely truthful with him.

"Tom, I gotta tell you. When Jude told me back in August you two were together, I wasn't exactly happy. You are somewhat older than she is. More importantly, you don't exactly have a stellar reputation, especially when it comes to women."

"I know that, Mr. Harrison. I've been... a bit wild." Tommy acknowledged fairly.

"Three years you've been working with Jude. We've seen you in and out of the tabloids. With a different girl each time."

"It wasn't quite that bad. But it looks like it. I can certainly understand why you don't trust me."

"Jude was barely 18 when you two started dating. Legally, she's an adult. Able to make her own choices. Usually, I trust her. But I do have to wonder what went on all these years?"

"Nothing." Tommy assured him. "I cared about her. I would never use her. She was too young. I respected that. We never..."

"But it seemed that you didn't waste any time once she turned 18?"

"Actually, Jude turned me down for months. She didn't want me. Didn't trust me either." Tommy admitted.

Stuart smiled.

"Smart girl!"

"Yeah. I deserved that. I had to earn her trust. I hope to earn yours, too."

"Well, I'm not exactly one to judge. You know, I've made my mistakes too. Big ones! I'm just grateful Jude and Sadie are still willing to have any kind of relationship with me at all. I'd be crushed without them. Lonely. Part of me would be missing. When you're a father, you'll understand that."

"Maybe, I already do" Tommy thought, wondering for the first time if that was how James Quincy felt about him.

"Tom?" Stuart questioned, noting the distant look on his face.

"I'm sorry" Tommy refocused his attention from the image of his own father back to Jude's actual one, standing right in front of him.

"Just thinking about what you said. I guess that's why you worry about her and me. But I never mean to hurt Jude. She's everything to me." he assured Mr. Harrison.

"Yes, Tom. I believe you. Frankly, I never thought you two would last this long. There must be something important between you two." Stuart reluctantly conceded.

"You know how special she is. Is it really so hard to believe that I see it, too. I always have."

"Yes. I think you do. You aren't the creep I thought you were. But I'm still warning you. Just watch it!" Stuart threatened, with a smile on his face.

"Now, let's go back. Jude's probably worried, thinking I'm really gonna let you have it."

"Merry Christmas, Tom"

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Harrison.

"Stuart" the older man replied.

Side by side, they walked back to the living room. Stuart smiled, when he viewed the scene taking place in there.

"Kodak moment! Smile!" he yelled, taking his digital camera from his pocket and snapping a button.

Tommy smiled too. Jude and Sadie were sitting in front of the Christmas tree. Each held one of Stuart and Yvette's identical twin baby girls on their laps.

His eyes fixed on his girlfriend. His mind drifted forwards some years into the future, seeing a somewhat older Jude cradling a different infant girl in her arms. This one had her bright red hair and deep blue eyes. He saw himself beside her then, his arm around her shoulders, as she held that precious baby.

"Our child... Our family..." he fantasized, indulging the dream he abandoned years ago. For the first time ever, he could actually see it happening- but only with her.

Jude met his eyes then and smiled

"Come and see!" she called.

"Yes." Stuart added. "You go sit next to her. Jimmy, you sit next to Sadie. Let me get a picture of this."

Shrugging his shoulders, Tommy followed Stuart's directions.

"Would you like to hold her?" Jude asked, when her father finished.

"Could I? I've never..." he shyly began.

"Neither did I, before, really. But it's easy. Just hold the head like this." Jude demonstrated, before placing the baby into his arms.

Young Lucy Harrison cooed contentedly, as she looked up at Tommy.

"She likes you. She's happy." Jude commented.

"I do have a way with women." Tommy replied, smugly.

"Yeah. I guess you do. You clearly charmed all the Harrison women today." she answered, touched by the gentle way he held the baby.

"A natural. You'll make an excellent father, someday. I can always tell" Violet Harrison predicted, beaming at him.

Tommy smiled back, pleased by her confidence, even if he didn't share it.

The afternoon slipped easily into evening. Several hours later, Jude and Tommy said their goodbyes and left, driving over to his house as previously agreed. After the events of the past few days, they really wanted the time together. There was so much for them to discuss.

"So, about my dad? What did he say to you? Please tell me he wasn't too embarrassing!" Jude asked.

"No. He was fine." Tommy quickly assured her. "He was concerned I was some sort of womanizing monster preying on his innocent daughter. And considering the press I get..."

"Used to get" Jude corrected him. He patted her knee

"Used to get" he agreed. "I don't blame him. We talked. I assured him of my very honorable intentions towards you. I think he's happier now."

"Good!" Jude sighed in relief.

"I did love your grandmother. She's fun. Smart, too."

"Yeah. She's the coolest!" Jude responded, then remembered something her grandmother said.

"What?" Tommy asked, seeing the question in her eyes and her look of uncertaintly.

"Do you want kids, Tommy?" she blurted out. They had never talked about that before.

"Yes. Someday." he responded softly. "Do you?"

"Yes. Someday" Jude echoed.

"I just didn't think about it for a long time. But I do. I just didn't think it would happen. You know why."

"Yes, because of your father."

"I never thought that I would be much good that way..."

"I could understand that."

"Another reason to deal with him, for real." Tommy added, perceptively

"Because I want a future. My own family. And it won't work unless I resolve this crap with my dad" he thought silently, glancing again at Jude.

"I want you" his ruminations continued. "I know we're young. I know we're not ready. It's not our time yet. But it will be. I want you, Jude Harrison, always. You are my forever. I want us to have a family... To be a family... Someday." he realized.

Jude studied her boyfriend's face, not saying anything. She loved his soft, dreamy look; she could stare at it all day. She didn't know exactly what went on inside him then, only that those dreams included her. That made her even happier.

Tommy parked the car in front of his apartment.

"We're home" he said.


	10. True Faith

Holiday- An Instant Star Christmas Story

Chapter 10- True Faith

Author's note- Well, readers, as incredible as it seems to me, the end of this story is actually near. Right now, it looks like we've got one more chapter after this one, and then- boom! I can't believe it- I'm actually gonna finish a fic! Woo-hoo! But of course, there's plenty more where this came from (wherever that is... I really have no clue how the heck I did this...)

Ok- one more note. The title "True Faith" comes from yet another 1980's song by the band New Order. It's funny- my friend and I once stayed up one night listening to this song over and over, trying to figure out the words... we couldn't do it. At the suggestion of a friend here, I googled the lyrics, and now I have them. But I still don't really understand it- even knowing the words. So, I figured it was appropriate for this chapter where Tommy tries to understand his dad...

Since I don't know exactly when the last chapter will come out- shooting for before New Year's but it might be the day of... I'd like to wish everyone here an awesome New Year, filled with lots of fun and happiness! Hey, IS is back on here in a month- that's gotta be a good sign! Party on, people!

Read, review and enjoy!

dorothy

Chapter 10- True Faith

Tommy and Jude both smiled as they hurried upstairs to his apartment. Both were eager to escape the bitter cold. However, both had another reason for their haste.

As soon as they got inside, he reached for her, pressing his lips on hers urgently. She returned his kisses with an intense hunger that equaled his own. With the emotional roller coaster Tommy rode the past week, it felt like forever since they had really been together. In fact, it had only been a few days. But that was still too long for them.

Without conscious knowledge of how they got there, they found themselves in Tommy's bedroom. Slowly, carefully, almost reverently, he slipped her clothes from her body, loving every second of his actions. Jude luxuriated in his touch on her bare skin; she only wanted to reciprocate. Her wish soon was granted, as she removed his garments. Finally naked, they both lay down besides each other, pressing their bodies closer and closer.

They made love repeatedly throughout the night, driven by their powerful, seemingly insatiable need for each other. Finally spent, they surrendered to sleep, not awakening until after noon.

"Now this is more like the Jude I know" Tommy teased her, noting the time.

"You oughta talk, Quincy. On tour, you never got outta bed before I did."

"Now, why would I do something stupid like that?" he asked her.

"Good point" she conceded, snuggling happily besides him.

"Mmm, yes. Why would I ever want to move now?" he replied. "I don't"

"Except... I'm starving. Aren't you?"

"Well, yeah." he reluctantly admitted.

He and Jude both pulled on his sweats, and headed to the kitchen.

"I'll make you my special omelet." he offered. "I know you love it."

"Sounds perfect. I'll pour some orange juice and make us some coffee."

With familiarity, they worked together in the kitchen, assembling their meal. They then sat down and enjoyed it together.

"Wonderful, as always." Jude smiled.

"Yeah" Tommy nodded, absently.

"What's wrong?" she responded, noting the worried look that suddenly appeared on his face.

"I gotta admit it. There's another reason I wanted you here with me now. There's something I gotta do that I need you for. A telephone call...:"

"To him?'

"Yes."

"I'm here" Jude replied.

"Good. Cause I'm really gonna do this."

With Jude besides him, Tommy walked into the living room.

"Here goes nothing." he said, inhaling sharply and dialing his father's number.

James Quincy picked up on the first ring.

"Hello. James Quincy." he answered formally.

"Hello" Tommy said, equally reserved.

"Tom? Is that you?" his father asked.

"Yes"

"How are you?"

"Surprised" Tommy replied, truthfully.

"Yeah, I know. It's been a long time. Too long. That's my fault. I should have done this earlier."

These words shocked Tommy. He had never known his father to ever admit when he was wrong, let alone accept blame or responsibility for those mistakes.

"I was hoping we could meet. I really would like to see you." James went on.

"Ok. Today good?" Tommy asked, wanting to get it over with as soon as possible.

"Yes" James confirmed, sensing that it was either now or never.

They settled on a meeting place, choosing a local, but unpopular coffee shop. It would provide them with both the quiet and the privacy this sensitive meeting demanded.

Tommy hung up the phone and Jude looked at him questioningly.

"Well, that's it. Two hours from now." he muttered, joining his girlfriend on the sofa.

She took his hands in both of hers, reassuring.

"It's going to be okay. No matter what. We'll get through this."

"Right now, I just want it to be over."

That feeling persisted in Tommy as he entered the coffee shop. He surveyed the booths, searching for a familiar face, one that once looked almost identical to his own.

It wasn't hard to spot James Quincy in the almost empty room. He sat in the middle of the restaurant, all the way on the left side.

Tommy's body stiffened as he walked the few feet towards him, dreading every step closer to the silver and white formica table.

James Quincy's coloring appeared to now match that table. Once a vibrantly handsome man like his son, the years had faded him. His hair and skin appeared washed out and gray; his once firm jawline had slackened. Yet somehow, he still managed to look imposing. Fear seized Tommy as he finally reached his father.

"Hey" he said, not knowing how to greet the man he so despised.

"Been a long time."

"Long enough" James Quincy commented.

He slid into the booth across from him, as the waitress appeared and they ordered coffee.

"You look good, Tom"

"Thanks" he replied, unable to return the complement.

"So. How've you been?"

"Good. Really good."

"Things really do seem to be going well for you. I still see your picture in all the papers.'

"Yeah. Well, don't believe everything you read."

"What shouldn't I believe? That you are an extremely successful producer. That you're an excellent songwriter. That you have a beautiful and talented girlfriend who obviously loves you very much."

"I didn't come here to talk about Jude! Or myself!" Tommy finally snapped.

"You got me here. Said you wanted to talk. So, talk!" he said, enraged.

James Quincy sighed.

"I did want to talk. I do. It's just hard to start..."

Tommy glared at him.

"I miss you!" James suddenly blurted out. "I made a lot of mistakes. I don't even know where to begin with you."

"Oh, you don't. How about telling me the truth! Why? Why did you do it? Any of it? All of it! The drinking. And..." Tommy stopped abruptly, unable to verbalize the other horrible things that his father had done.

"You want an explanation?"

"Yes!"

"I owe you that. But it's not easy..."

"Try it!" Tommy barked at him.

"It doesn't make things right. I spent years, in groups, in therapy, trying desperately to understand any of it. How I could damage my own wife, my own son, like that?"

"And what wonderful conclusion did you finally reach?" Tommy smirked, sarcastically.

"That I was weak. And angry."

"Angry? Why? What the hell did mom ever do to make you angry! She killed herself trying to please you! She did almost everything you ever asked of her!"

"Except with me." Tommy realized, suddenly feeling guilty.

"She helped me. Took me to auditions, lessons, practices. She wanted me to perform. But you didn't..." he silently mused.

James Quincy's gravelly voice interrupted his private thoughts.

"That's all true. It wasn't about her. It was about me. I was never angry at her. Or you. I was... angry at myself."

"Why?"

"I just... felt trapped. I always have. From the day I was born, everything was decided for me. I would be a doctor. Not just a doctor, but a great surgeon, just like my own father was. Even if I didn't want to. Even if I hated it. But I had no choices, ever. Even with your mother..." James' voice trailed off uncertainly.

Tommy wouldn't let him off that easily.

"You started this. You finish it!" he insisted.

"Tom, don't get me wrong. You gotta understand. I loved your mother. I really did. But before her, there was someone else. I was completely in love with her. I wanted us to spend our lives together. But my father didn't approve. Among other things, he thought she was too young and not good enough for the family. He demanded I stop seeing her, or he'd throw me out. And worse. I was young too, and scared. He drank too. He'd beat me, badly. Far worse than anything I ever did..."

Tommy listened carefully, absorbing the truth about the grandfather he never knew. His interested expression encouraged James Quincy to continue.

"I was stuck in a life that didn't fit. I was miserable. I didn't know how to deal. Somewhere, I started coping the only way I knew how. The way my own father did."

He took a deep breath and continued, staring at his son.

"I envy you."

"What?" Tommy questioned, completely confused.

"I envy you. You stood up to me. You went for what you really wanted; you still do. I couldn't do that. And I hated you for it. For being so much stronger than I ever was."

"You hate me? Nice!" Tommy sneered.

"No. No, it's not that simple! I love you! I always have! I just resented you for being the person I couldn't be. Even as a child you were the better man. And I hated myself for feeling that way. And for what I did to you. And to your mother. But I didn't know how to stop it..."

"You're kidding. You expect me to feel sorry for you!" Tommy ripped into him, disgusted.

"No, not that"

"So, what the hell do you want from me?"

"I don't know. It doesn't seem like I deserve anything."

"You don't!" Tommy snorted.

"I just wish things could be different. I wish I could somehow be a part of your life. You've done so well. Without any help from me."

Tommy didn't know what to say. His father continued.

"I guess... I want you to know how proud of you I am. Not just for what you've done, although that's certainly impressive. But for not falling into the same trap I did. For being strong enough and smart enough not to make my mistakes."

"About all this... I really don't know what to think. I appreciate it. It's good to hear... it answers a lot of my questions." Tommy replied, fairly.

"But I honestly don't know where we can go from here."

"Well... I guess that's gotta be up to you, now. I owe you that choice. Like I said, I'm not entitled to anything- your love, your trust, or even to be a part of your life. But I can't help wanting all that."

James Quincy then echoed the sentiments Stuart Harrison expressed to Tom the previous day.

"You're my son. You're a part of me. And I love you. I don't expect you to say that back to me. But you should know how I feel."

"Thanks" Tommy replied.

"It's your call, then. You know how to reach me. If and when you want to,"

"Thanks. It was good to see you. Really."

"You too, son"

He extended his hand to Tommy, who shook it. James Quincy then reached for the check with that same hand.

"Thank you" he said quietly, staring at his son intently, as if wanting to remember every single part of him, as if he'd never see him again. Then he turned and walked away.

Tommy just sat, his hand curled around his now cold coffee cup, as he tried to digest it all. One line kept replaying in his head.

"You went for what you really wanted; you still do. You are stronger than I was. A better man."

Relief and release coursed through him, as he quickly rose from his seat, suddenly urgently needing to return to Jude.


	11. Auld Lang Syne

Holiday- An Instant Star Christmas Story

Chapter 11- Auld Lang Syne

Author's Note: Well, this is it! The end of an era- just this chapter and another mini-chapter (epilogue) and we're done. But again, I'd like to thank everyone who supported me in this- I can't believe how popular it's been.

Happy New Year everyone! May we all share many more wonderful stories together! I hope to keep hearing from all of you through my other stories and also look forward to continuing to read yours!

dorothy

Chapter 11- Auld Lang Syne

Dressed formally in his dark suit, royal blue shirt and tie, Tommy stood in the hallway of the Harrison home, restlessly running his hand through his light brown hair. It was December 31, the night of G-Major's annual New Year's eve gala. As usual, Jude was late. Tommy smiled to himself; he had grown accustomed to this."

"Keep me waiting. Always that girl thing..." he mused. Usually, he didn't really mind, acknowledging that she was worth it.

Tonight was different and so special. Tommy felt that he waited forever for this moment. To finally attend this special event with Jude at his side. No longer would he have to watch her sharing this memorable evening with someone else; no longer would he be fated to do the same.

"This time, you're mine, girl" he thought, as a familiar tingle electrified his body.

His excitement only intensified as Jude appeared. Always the performer, she slowly descended the stairs, making a dramatic entrance. Her theatrics were completely unnecessary. From the second he saw her, Tommy stared, wide-eyed and fully mesmerized. She completely captivated him.

Jude wore a strapless, emerald green satin sheath. The bodice was heart-shaped and shirred, curving around her breasts and exposing just the right amount of the tender flesh to be enticing. Her skirt flared softly, showcasing long legs encased in lightly shimmering black stockings and rhinestone encrusted high heeled black shoes. Her dark auburn hair was curled and pulled back in a high ponytail, fastened with a jeweled bow clip. Of course, she wore Tommy's necklace and earrings, which perfectly accented the outfit. Her only other jewelry was a wide silver mesh bracelet with rhinestone accents.

Tommy remained entranced as his dream girl approached him, drifting easily into his now outstretched arms

"Pick up your jaw." she whispered, though spellbound herself. She traced one slender finger delicately down his cheek.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are tonight. You take my breath away, Jude Harrison. All I want to do is hold you and never let you go." Tommy replied, with raw emotion.

He dipped his head and kissed her lightly. Their foreheads touched as she responded.

"You can hold me as much as you want. I'm not going anywhere. Not without you. But tonight, we do have someplace to be."

"Yeah" Tommy admitted. The G-Major party constituted a huge media event.

"EJ and Georgia will kill us if we don't get there soon" he agreed. "Besides, the whole world should see how incredibly gorgeous you look right now."

"I could say the same about you. And I will." Jude proclaimed, whispering the words into Tommy's ear that made him melt.

"You are so wonderful. And incredibly handsome and sexy. I am so lucky. I just can't believe that I get to be the one with you tonight. Finally"

"Me too" Tommy agreed, flooded with the strongest happiness he ever knew.

After one more soft, but very loving kiss, Tommy reached for Jude's long black evening coat, slipping it over her bare shoulders.

"The limo's waiting" he said, slipping his arm around her to guide her to the waiting car.

Arriving finally at G-Major, they stepped back out into the black velvet night. Jude sighed.

"Ready?" she asked, knowing full well what awaited them.

"Ready" he replied confidently, lacing his fingers protectively through her own.

Outside, the bright camera lights immediately blinded them.

"Just keep smiling." Jude whispered.

"That's easy. I'm with you. I may never stop."

"Don't. I love your smile. And I love you."

"I love you too, girl"

Dodging the paparazzi, he eagerly led her inside.

"Wow!" Jude said, surveying the elaborate silver, red and white decorations, which completely transformed their record company's offices into a fairytale club.

"I don't know how EJ does it." Jude marveled. "She gets better at this every year."

"Yeah. She really does"

"Thanks!" EJ grinned, popping up behind them.

"Sneaky, EJ!" Tommy admonished her.

Their attractive publicist just laughed. Tonight, she wore a trendy black minidress with slashed sleeves.

"Hey, if you two weren't always so wrapped up in each other, it wouldn't happen. Anyway, you both look great. Now, here's what I need you to do."

"Not too much, I hope." Jude remarked.

"Not tonight." Tommy echoed her feelings.

"Please. You both know we gotta hype the rest of the tour. You two leave for the US with Spiederman in a few days. With the release of her last album, Jude's American fanbase exploded. Plus..." EJ paused dramatically, building up the suspense.

"Kevin Smith wants her."

"He does? For what?" Tommy reacted instinctively to EJ's words.

"Tommy" Jude replied, squeezing his hand.

"Seriously, EJ, what does a famous movie director want with me?"

"He's talking about having you write and sing the theme for his next film."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He's here tonight and wants to meet you. I'll introduce you now. And Tom, there are some promoters here that need your personal attention. None of this should take too long!" EJ said, cheerfully.

"You'll be back in each other's arms before you know it."

"Better be!" Tommy thought.

He and Jude both shrugged, and went to take care of business.

An hour later, Tommy finished and eagerly sought out his girlfriend. Her bright green dress made her easy to spot, as she stood with Kevin Smith on the perimeter of the room. The director leaned closer and engaged her in lengthy conversation that clearly had nothing to do with music or movies.

"Gotta go break that up." he thought

Jude's eyes lit up when he approached.

"Hi" she said, kissing his cheek as his arm slipped around her slender waist.

"You know Kevin Smith." she continued.

"Yeah. We've met." Tommy's greeting was friendly enough, but the look on his face was unmistakable.

Kevin stepped back, recognizing a hint when he heard one.

"You're a lucky man. You've got a wonderful lady here. So, I think we've said what we need to and I'll leave you two alone. But Jude, I'll definitely be talking to you about that song. I think you're just the one to give us exactly what we want."

"Thanks"

"Excuse me, then."

Jude turned to Tommy, her radiant face glowing.

"Possessive, aren't you?"

"Yes. Extremely."

"Good"

"What was going on?"

"Nothing. He's just already a little wasted and unsteady. That's it. Trust me."

"I do. Speaking of." he added, grabbing two champagne flutes from a passing waiter, and handing her one.

"Here. I know you love it. And we need to celebrate."

Jude smiled, gazing deeply into his eyes as he continued.

"It's been an amazing year. These past few months with you... I can't even think of the words." he said, as their crystal glasses touched, making a soft tinkling sound.

"So, don't. Just dance with me."

"I could definitely do that."

They set their glasses down and walked towards the crowded dance floor. "Your Eyes" played and Tommy happily pulled Jude close to him.

"And I always thought you hated to dance." she remarked.

"I make exceptions to that rule. Anything to keep you in my arms." he whispered seductively.

"New year. A time for new beginnings. But we already have ours." Tommy added.

"Yeah. There's not one thing I'd change about this." Jude breathed.

His hold on her tightened, as he kissed her as deeply as he could. The spontaneous and very public display of such intense emotion stunned even Jude.

"What was that for?"

"Just me going for what I really wanted." Tommy grinned.

"Quoting your father. You really are glad you saw him, aren't you"

The couple had devoted considerable time to discussing the topic over the past few days. Right after meeting his father, Tommy reported their conversation to Jude.

"He told me that I was always stronger and smarter than he was. A better man. Cause I had the guts to go for what I really wanted. He didn't." Tommy disclosed to her.

"Makes sense" Jude nodded.

"He acted that way, because he was really unhappy. But you aren't" she added.

"No." he confirmed. "Not like him. I'm doing exactly what I want. And I'm with exactly who I want." he smiled softly at Jude, watching her love explode in her eyes.

"You were right." Tommy elaborated. "Seems as if I've already managed to avoid ending up like him."

"I guess you don't have to be afraid, then."

"Yeah. I go for what I want. And that's never going to be it. But I still don't know about seeing him. Being close to him. Or sharing my life with him. I don't know if I can trust him, ever. "

"Well, you don't have to decide that now."

"No. I need time."

But these thoughts remained completely distant as he danced closely with the woman he loved. The music changed and Jude lifted her head. She spotted someone from the corner of her eye. She hurried in that direction, easily pulling Tommy along.

"Jamie! Kat!" she yelled, hugging her two best friends. "You're here!"

"Like we'd ever refuse this! Besides, it's just not New Year's if we're not together! All three... I guess I should say, all four of us now." Kat responded, fondly.

"Thanks!" Tommy answered, with enthusiasm.

The next few hours drifted by. Tommy and Jude completely enjoyed themselves, accompanied by Kat, Jamie, Quest and his date Suki, Georgia, EJ and the Spiederman band members. At 11:50, the lights dimmed, as the evening became more intimate. The DJ spun Jude's smash hit ballad, "Take My Breath Away", the song she wrote for Tommy that summer. As always, it lured them into each others arms, holding each other as tightly as they could. They danced, fully lost in their magic, until the countdown began.

"10, 9, 8, 7, 6..."

Tommy's hands tenderly cupped Jude's face, as hers locked behind his neck.

"5, 4, 3..."

Their lips slowly began to converge.

"2, 1! Happy New Year!"

Confetti streamed from the ceiling, as horns blared away. Tommy and Jude felt and heard none of it, as their mouths met and passion obliviated them.

"Happy New Year." Jude whispered, throatilly.

"Happy New Year, sweetheart." Tommy murmured back.

Their friends soon surrounded them, recklessly invading their privacy as more corks popped and champagne flowed freely. Tommy surveyed all the caring people around them. Hugs and kisses and good wishes floated easily among the group. He beamed radiantly, allowing their genuine warmth to engulf him, realizing for the first time all he had.

Jude noted his uplifted mood and the thoughtful look in his eyes. Once they were alone again, she commented on it.

"You look so happy. So peaceful." she said softly, sitting next to him in the back of their limo.

"You're right." he responded.

"I don't think I've ever seen you quite like this before. So relaxed... free..."

"Yeah, I've never felt this before. There's a weight off my shoulders. Somehow, being surrounded by everyone tonight, I discovered how much I have."

"We've good friends." Jude commented.

"Yeah. I need to remember that. Appreciate it more. And I feel closer to them now, and to your family, too. Somehow, with all this, I can let go of my anger. I don't need to hate my father. Cause he's not ruining my life anymore. But hating him could.."

"I always knew you were smart." Jude said, leaning her head against his chest.

"Yes. And my smartest move. Finally going after you. For real."

"Well, I'd have to agree with that."

"Four more days and then it's back to the road, with the Spiederman band chaperones. We won't have much privacy..." Tommy insinuated.

"We should take advantage of it." he continued.

"And we will." Jude agreed, sliding her arms around him, as the car stopped outside Tommy's apartment.

"Yeah. Starting right now..."


	12. Epilogue: The Road Back

Holiday- An Instant Star Christmas Story.

Chapter 12- Epilogue- The Road Back

Author's Note: Just a quick word here. I was a little concerned about this ending being misunderstood. The issues between Tommy and his father are complex; I did not want to write a "simple fix and everything's better" chapter. I may be a romantic, but I'm also a realist! I think if this were to actually happen, Tommy would not become close to his father this quickly, and very likely not at all. What I did want to happen is for Tommy to start "healing" and feel better inside- to finally come to terms with all that happened, let go of his pain, and move forward in his life. Hopefully, that's what this little "epilogue" communicates- not total, magical forgiveness. Let me know!

Again, thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing!

dorothy

Chapter 12- Epilogue- The Road Back

The tour bus remained cold in January, just as it was in December. The evening they returned to the road, Jude, again wearing Tommy's sweats, wrapped herself in her new blue blanket. The rightful owner of those clothes sat on their bed, tapping away on a laptop computer. She looked curiously over his shoulder.

"Emails? Already? We just left today?"

"Just one" he replied, moving slightly so she could read it.

To: JQuincy

From: TQuincy

Subject: whereabouts

Hi. Just thought that you should know that I'm on tour with Jude for the next three months. I won't have time to write much. We'll be busy, but I'll drop you a word from time to time, just to let you know where I am.

Take care,

Tom


End file.
